To Change the World
by MayaStormborn
Summary: What would I do if I swapped bodies with Sookie before she ever met Bill, but I retained all the memories of the published books? M FOR A REASON! AU - No Sookie. Probably OOC. ON HIATUS, sorry readers
1. Chapter 1

Minor fixes & spell checks 30/09/2012

This is my first fanfiction, my first attempt at writing since school actually, so please be gentle!

This idea wouldn't leave me alone so I figured I would write it down until it did or I completed it, depending on reader responses.

_What would I do if I swapped bodies with Sookie Stackhouse before she met Bill, but I remembered every detail from the books?_

I don't really have an eidetic (photographic) memory but I kinda need one for this story!

As a warning, there will be a lot of language in this story, I have a tendency to swear like a sailor, unless I'm around my family. No one swears in front of my Granddad.

Please review or follow my story, if you don't like it that's fine but please be constructive, don't just slag it off tell me why you don't like it.

For now this is un-betaed, it may change later.

Charlaine Harris owns it all but me.

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><p>I opened my eyes to find myself in a single bed in a bright and sunny room that was most definitely not the double bed in cloudy London I went to sleep in. I pinched myself just to be sure. Nope, not dreaming.<p>

_Where the fuck am I?_

**I wonder why Sookie isn't up yet, it's not like her to sleep in. I'll wake her up when breakfast is ready.**

_Oh. Shit. I know where I am. Well if I'm not dreaming and Gran is still alive I've not only jumped realities, I've gone back in time too. Fun. Ok what do I remember last? _As I closed my eyes to visualise the night before I had a rush of new memories that were most definitely not mine, and so I hoped were Sookie's, I don't think I could have handled another curve ball right then. By the time I had recovered from the influx, Gran was walking to the door to wake me up. I decided she was the Steel Magnolia all others wish they were, she could handle the truth, but I should get dressed and make sure she's sitting down first, after all I would try my best to save her life for Sookie, and even if my hunch was right and those who die in the books will die anyway I will at least change the circumstances and make sure she isn't alone.

"Just a second!" _Fuck. I still sound like me and I sound nothing like a sweet southern belle._

"Are you ok honey?"

"Uh huh!"

"Ok I'll be in the kitchen breakfast is ready."

Finally presentable to meet a fictional character (although I suppose this is their world so _I _was probably the fictional one.) I walked out to the kitchen to tell my story for the first time of what was bound to be many today. The smell that welcomed me was amazing, there were no exaggerations when it was said Adele Stackhouse could cook, but I had to remember this wasn't my body to abuse. I found Gran sitting at the table with our plates, and I decided it would be best to come clean straight away rather than hoping she wouldn't notice anything, this lady is more perceptive than a microscope.

"Mrs Stackhouse, we need to have a talk."

"Why are you calling me Mrs Stackhouse and why does your voice sound different?" It was a testament to her ability to deal with the unusual that I didn't have a skillet wrapped around my head at that point.

"I'm not Sookie. Well, obviously this is her body but it's my mind." I went on to explain how I was from a different reality where this was all fiction and somehow we seemed to have swapped bodies, or I hoped we had swapped bodies, I wouldn't mind living her life but not at the expense of her consciousness. "Mrs Stackhouse –"

"Child call me Adele or Gran I feel old enough without the formalities thank you."

I smiled at her and carried on, "Ok Adele, I have some news that may be hard to hear."

"Treat it like a band aid dear the suspense is always worse."

I smiled again until I remembered the news I had to tell. "In the books, you are killed by Jason's friend Rene, because Sookie gets involved with vampires." I was right with the steel magnolia thought, she didn't even twitch.

"But there aren't any vampires in Bon Temps."

"When was their Great Reveal?"

"About four years ago, why?"

"Sookie would be meeting her first vampire any day now. He walks into Merlotte's and pretends to be the perfect southern gentleman, but he betrays her on a level akin to Jesus and Judas. I need you to call Sam for me and tell him I'm too ill to come in, and ask if he could be here for about 7pm, he'll pick up on my voice so I can't sorry, then we need to have a talk about Fintan, and after dark I need to make a call to Fangtasia and hope Eric is in a good mood and willing to listen." After my mention of Fintan Gran's eyes had widened but she didn't say a word, just went to call Sam. I think that was the moment she really believed my story. I finished my wonderful breakfast then made us both a sweet tea _It's really handy having Sook's memories, shields going strong and perfect sweet tea._ We then sat down to start our talk about Fintan.

"Fintan will not be able to protect this family much longer, the Fae civil war is getting worse, and from what I understand he will be going to the Summerlands soon, and when he does it won't just be vampires Sook has to worry about. I'm not sure if it is wise to try and contact him, but I will call Mr Cataliades and ask his opinion, and if he can be here tonight too. I'm sorry I'm inviting all these people at short notice Adele but it's vital I do what I can to change certain things, and I need them to help." Gran just kept proving my point, mention her death, nothing. Fintan's, a brief burst of sadness, which was gone in seconds as she accepted it, then the steel resolve to do what she could to help.

"I'm going to clean, then we will run into town to buy some of that blood substitute, I won't knowingly have guests coming without preparing something for them." _Bless southern hospitality. _

"Adele I'll run to Shreveport for the blood, we don't want the noses around town knowing what's going on."

Remembering the lack of internet at the Stackhouse residence pre-Amelia, I called Directory Enquiries to connect me to Mr C's offices, and then the receptionist to connect me to the demon lawyer himself.

"Mr Cataliades, I have information about the Stackhouses I would like to share with you, would you please me at the farmhouse this afternoon at around 3pm?"

"Who is this? Why do you think I would care about the Stackhouses and how would I know where they live?"

"Mr C you are very intelligent man you can find their address it isn't a common name after all, and if you weren't interested you would have hung up by now. If you like send Diantha or Gladiola now and they can pass a message, I don't trust phones much." With that done I looked at the clock and was stunned to find it was only 10am. I went to find Adele to tell her we may be having a guest turn up soon, and that I was running to get the bloods and I would be back shortly. Considering I can't drive, I think I did well pulling from Sookie's memories, though the car would make my friends (read: car fanatics) at home cry, it really was a rust bucket. The bloods picked up, I made my way back to Bon Temps to help finish cleaning and see if the demon's nieces had turned up.

As I pulled up to the house I saw a figure that could only be Diantha, tall and thin with clothes you need sunglasses to look at. She rushed over to the car as soon as I parked, yanked my door open and had a blade at my throat in seconds. Having expected this kind of reaction, I was as prepared as I could be, and so managed to look her in the eye.

"Whoareyaandwhyareyamakintrou ble?"

"Pleased to meet you Diantha, I would gladly talk to you if you would kindly take the blade from my neck so we can go inside, you and I both know I can't out run you, and I'm fairly sure your sister is around somewhere should I be foolish enough to try." Diantha frowned but pulled the knife away and let me out of the car. I made sure to walk steadily and not to make any sudden moves, I quite like being in one piece.

As it was now a little after midday Gran started making lunch, while I sat and filled in Diantha on everything for her to relay it back to Mr C. Like I suspected, he wasn't far away, and once Diantha called him with the all clear the sounds of a car coming up the pot holed driveway could be heard.

Once Mr C was settled inside and everything was explained, we started to discuss who would get what information. We both agreed to tell Eric everything, and _then_ issue an invitation to the house, he will decide how much to tell Pam, Bill gets nothing, the queen will get information about Waldo, Threadgill and Katrina, anything else will be on an as-needed basis. We decided to not tell Sam anything yet, so Gran cancelled plans with him for now saying I had gotten worse and was mostly sleeping but not to worry, and could he re-schedule my shifts for the week. By the time we were finished it was after dark and so time to call the vampires.

"Fangtasia the bar with the bite"

"I need you to pass a message to Mr Northman, tell him an associate of his lawyer Mr Cataliades has information concerning him, his business partner Pam and a new member of his area, it is in his best interests to leave Pam in charge for the evening and meet myself and the lawyer in Bon Temps at the Stackhouse residence as soon as possible." I then hung up, and made sure Gran knew to stay out of sight so she couldn't be glamoured, I was banking on my mind working like Sook's to protect me. The silver jewelry helped too.


	2. Chapter 2

As suspected, Eric made quite the dramatic entrance thirty minutes after I hung up the phone.

"**Cataliades! Why have I been summoned!**" I opened the front door so I could see Eric while still being protected by the house magic. Of course the magic wouldn't stop a tree flung in the right direction, but you do what you can.

"Mr Northman, I understand you don't like being summoned, but unless you want Compton to come running over to investigate **PIPE DOWN!**" He ceased yelling at that, even if it was only because he was now fixing me with a glare that make the ice caps look like the Sahara. "Thank you. Now what I have to explain is a very long story, would you like a True Blood while we talk?"

"I want fucking answers! Do not attempt to prolong this thinking my anger will fade foolish girl!" By this point I was done trying things the southern way, and so I decided to try My way.

"No shit Viking! I was trying to be polite for fuck sake, I know vampires hold grudges longer than rocks hold fossils, and I'll thank you to remember I am a Woman. To start, I am not the owner of this body. My mind is from an alternate reality."

Of course Mouthy had to interrupt. "Get to the fucking point."

"I'm trying, shut up and listen for once in your ridiculously long existence. As I was saying I am from an alternate reality, where everything you know, is fiction. No vamps, no Weres, no witches with power, no Fae, nothing. Somehow I ended up here, in the body of a storybook character at the very beginning of her journey with Supes. If it were possible I would have just avoided you all like the plague, but you and I know Sophie-Anne is...determined shall we say, when she sets her eye on something, and right now that something is this body."

"What's so special about a blonde from Bumfuck that you can't find elsewhere." It was worded like a question, but I could tell it was an automatic response while his inner chess pieces were setting up.

"Telepathy." And that was the point he stopped plotting my death as soon as I finished speaking and started trying to glamour me. Fortunately the shield stayed with the body as I hoped. "Stop trying to influence me Eric it doesn't work. Before you ask, humans are varying strengths, but pretty clear, like digital TV with volume changes, shifters of any kind are tough but with practice I will get better, like old analogue radio, demons, well, half demons like our friend Mr C are a low buzz and vampires are a nice relaxing void of nothing, not even white noise. Now in my reality Sookie's life is in books, and your life is tied very closely to hers, as is Pam's by extension. I didn't invite Pam here because I wanted to give you the option of hearing me out and then leaving to greener pastures, or bloodier as the case may be. You won't like a lot of this information right away, but Sookie has saved your life and Pam's a couple of times and you will regret not listening later. Now I am going to get a drink, and if you give me your oath as a Viking that you will hear me out without killing anyone or destroying anything, I will invite you inside to talk, but I need your unbreakable oath first. I will give you a few minutes to consider. If you aren't here when I come back I will assume you aren't interested and I will make other plans for safety as best I can." With that I walked away.

After my glass of water I checked on Gran, who was reading her Danielle Steel novel in bed.

"How's it going child?"

"Well, I think. I'm giving him time to decide if he wants the full story before I invite him in, and I've asked for his oath he will control his temper."

"Ok dear I hope he will help, if it is my time soon I'd be happier going knowing you have support."

"I'll keep Sookie's body safe don't worry."

"I wasn't talking about the body child, I imagine once she's gotten over the shock Sookie will be fine in your world, from what you said earlier it's pretty quiet, you are the one dealing with life and death."

"Thank you, Gran." I gave her a hug and a kiss goodnight and composed myself before going back to Eric.

"You're still here, have you made a decision?" Eric came out of downtime as I spoke, looked at me and replied, "I give you my oath I will not let my anger overwhelm me while you speak."

"I'm trusting you not to get shifty with your wording there Eric, I know you're a master manipulator, but I can't have that right now ok? Come on, come inside." With that he blurred up to me, taking a big sniff.

"What are you? You smell exquisite..." He then proceeded to rub his nose up and down my neck, which had an unavoidable reaction, and of course he picked up on it instantly. "Aroused are we? And a virgin too..."  
>"You know damned well I am, but unfortunately for us, this isn't my body to play with, so deflate that ego it won't serve you here."<p>

"Your body or not we could still have fun..." Still rubbing his nose, but adding hands too.

"Imagine how you would feel to be transplanted into someone else's body in a different time and reality, to then find when you got back the person in your body had seen fit to remove both your foreskin and your bollocks." That straightened him up quick.

"Point taken. Pity though, it could have been fun."

"You aren't the only one upset Viking believe me..."

After we sat down I filled him in on everything except the occasional glimpses into vamp minds and Remy and Hunter. I wasn't in a position to trust him with those secrets yet. Once he could be trusted completely I would consider dictating the books to him.

"How has Pam's behaviour been recently? Worthy of a little fun?"

"I could give her a gift why?"

"The Rattrays need to be dealt with, they are drainers after all, though I will leave it up to you if Compton survives or not, as much of a betraying bastard as he is, he's useful later. And there is also the matter of Rene and clearing Jason. I don't care what happens to Rene as long as Jase is clear, I don't have the same moral compass Sook does."

"What do you mean?"

"Sookie is a firm Christian, very definite right and wrong ideas, but also a survivors streak a mile wide, so she gets very conflicted at times. Me, I say don't run the risk if it can bite you in the arse later, though my survival streak covers those I care most about too."

"Interesting. Well the immediate problems are simple enough, I will glamour this Rene into confessing, you shall come to Fangtasia so I can claim you giving Compton no chance, I shall then let the drainers get him for enough blood to make him weak and require assistance, therefore giving me entry to his home and time to investigate, after which Pam can have her fun, I shall then call the Queen and remind her she is on the throne because I allow it, so she has no claim over me or mine, but I will continue to pay tribute to keep up appearances for the other states, which should stop her trying to take you, but if we are honest might not. You will quit the shifter's bar and move in with me so I can keep an eye on you, I do not want to run the risk of you still being a danger magnet."  
>"Wait! I will quit Sam's bar, but only because I don't want to explain to him, he isn't exactly helpful, but I will not be leaving Gran, and she will not be leaving Bon Temps. If I am right and those who die are meant to, we will talk about it again then, but for now I am not leaving her alone. In the mean time, start sending your employees and Pam to me so I can read them and she can glamour them to forget me. That way she avoids the vermin, I'm still earning while not leaving Gran alone, and you know you have clean employees, no thieves, no spies, no traitors. If you talk to me the right way I will do as suggested or offer a compromise, but I WILL NOT be ordered. I understand appearances are very important to vampires, and when in public I will try not to show you up, but you have to respect me too." Eric didn't seem to like being spoken back to, but he kept his word, and by the time I was done talking his business mind had taken over and he realised it was better to have me cooperative than difficult.<p>

"Fine. Speaking of traitors and thieves I will find something to stake Longshadow for, he will not take me for a fool."

"I wouldn't expect anything different."

"I must leave. I need to speak with Pam and finish my paperwork at the bar."

"Ok, give me a call when you and Pam have decided exactly what is going on, I will see you soon, have a safe flight home." By this point we had moved to the front door, but my last comment caught him by surprise.

"How did you know I flew?"

"Even you don't drive fast enough to make the trip in 20 minutes Mr Lead Foot, plus if you had driven you would have been screaming about the driveway as well as being summoned, and even the deaf can hear the 'Vette Eric I wouldn't have missed that sound. Goodnight."

"Hmm. Goodnight Maya, I will be in contact soon." And he flew off.

Turning to go get ready for bed, I almost didn't hear the quiet thump on the roof that could have been the house settling, but was more likely a certain 6'5" Viking who found himself intrigued. I smiled and said in a normal tone of voice, "There's True Blood in the fridge and you know how to use the microwave, goodnight Eric." I then left Gran a note asking to please sleep in a little later as I had been up all night and would possibly be the next night too, then I changed and got into bed.

I was almost asleep when I heard "You should lock your doors woman."

I just smiled sleepily and replied "No one will rob Adele, you're the only vampire with an invitation, and you and I both know an old wooden door won't stop a Were. Night Eric"  
>"How do you know I won't drain you while you sleep?"<br>"One, I'm far too interesting to drain after one night, I know you've been bored lately, and two, you aren't Appius, you don't rape. Goodnight Eric I really need to sleep"

"Goodnight then."

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><p>AN Thank you! Chapter one has only been up a few hours and already I have reviews and alerts!

I don't know how regularly I will post, and I don't know how long it will be, but I doubt I will make it too long, I hate stories that drag out. Please keep letting me know what you think, and can anyone think of a name for Eric to call me? "Lover" is out because that's Sookie's and for right now at least he won't be getting any loving from us.

Everything but me belongs to Ms Harris, and I have no Beta so please forgive me.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Forgive me! I know it's been far too long since I updated, but I've had some big changes going on, and I've been writing in a book rather than on my laptop, but I got a few chapters written so by tonight I Should be all typed up and uploaded. Especially as I've borrowed my stepfather's new Dragon software!

I had an idea of having little cameos of my favourite characters from other works, like films, books or the TV, let me know what you guys think, and I'll either write them in or leave them out.

Sorry again!

I still have no beta, and I do not own the Sookieverse characters

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><p>I don't usually dream, or if I do I don't remember them, so when I found myself walking through a beautiful valley before dawn, I knew something was going on.<p>

I saw a familiar figure in the distance, so I sped up to meet them. They must have recognized me too, because they also moved faster.

"Sookie?"

"YOU! What have you done? Who are you? WHY am I in this body?"

"Calm down and listen Sook, I'll explain what I can OK?" I could see she was about to explode any second, but she was distracted as with a POP a third figure joined us.

"And you are?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. Not exactly polite I know, but there's only so much I can take.

"I am Fintan."

"AH! That explains a Lot. Am I to assume you are the cause of all this?"

"I am."

"Well you'd best explain it all from the beginning for Sook, as intelligent as she is she doesn't have all the information to work it out and if we keep talking like this she'll explode." Sookie was turning a deeper shade of red as time went on.

"Well I'm glad **somebody** remembered I'm here!" By this point my already short fuse ran out.

"Sookie shut up and bloody _listen_ for once in your life! He's going to explain it all to **both** of us, you aren't the only one to have been up rooted you fool. Honestly, for a grown woman you really are such a baby!"

"Don't speak to me like that! I don't have to listen to you insult me!"

"Go without answers then, because if I know fairies this is taking a lot of power and we don't have much time, so at the very least, shut your mouth so I can have some answers!" How Eric doesn't kill her in the books I will never know.

"She is right this is taking a lot of my energy, please listen."

"Fine." With that she crossed her arms and sat on the floor. Petulant fucking child.

"Ok, so you switched us?"

"I did. Before you ask, an oracle told me what would happen to my granddaughter if I didn't intervene, and any plan to protect her there would only last until my death, which would be soon. The only other option was to completely remove her and put someone else in her place until it was safe, at the risk of another's life. It was a price I was willing to pay, I am sorry. I will help you as much as I can, but I will not risk her."

"That's understandable, but I have questions that need answers."

"Go ahead."

"Why me? And did you give me the photographic memory and knowledge of the books? Because I didn't have it before that's for damned sure."

"The magic chose you, I had no idea who would be pulled through except it would be female. Yes I altered your mental capabilities, I felt it would help you, would you like me to change it back?"

"NO! I mean, no, thank you, I quite like it. What else did you do to me?"

"I strengthened the telepathy shields, and made it possible for you to listen selectively. Weres should be easier to read, and unless you seek to, you will not be able to hear vampires at all, I know that upset Sookie and caused her much stress."

"Thanks. I think I'll pretend to be a little bit psychic to others to explain some of my knowledge, just enough to be helpful to us but not reliable enough to be a target for. Is the telepathy tied to Sookie's body? Because if not is it possible to swap our bodies too? I'd really like to be in my own skin while I deal with all of their craziness."

"I will see if I can change it. Honestly that didn't occur to me, I am sorry."

"Would you like me to pass a message to Adele for you? And will we be able to speak again?" Fintan smiled at this, and pulled an envelope from the jacket he was wearing. Now he called attention to his clothes, I could see he was wearing a silvery-grey suit, that looked tailored, and obviously not from any place on either Earth. _For me to just notice his appearance now, my perceptions must be off_ I thought. He was fairly tall, maybe 6 feet or just under, slim like all fairies, and beautiful like them to, though not in a way that was attractive, in a way that made him fatherly, if that makes any sense.

"I am very glad you asked me that dear, could you give her this? I cannot appear to her as it would cause too many people to notice, but if you would be willing, you could be a messenger at until she joins me here."

"Here being the Summerlands?"

"We are on the very edge yes, this place is real in all worlds, which is how you can see and speak to Sookie, and be in your own bodies."

Again now he had called attention, I realised I _was_ in my own body, and Sook hers, though it still wasn't the body I left behind, it was the body I had always dream of having, slim but still curvy, taller than I was before, but not giant, my hair still long but easy to manage and stronger than before, with the red highlights I love, my nails long and shaped and just as strong as ever. Sookie looked very young, 12 or so, and still beautiful in a childlike way. She no longer had her arms folded, instead was sitting there kind of frozen, like a computer that's been overloaded and just refuses to move any more.

"Is she okay? And why do we look this way?"

"There are no masks here, this is how we truly look, it reflects our minds and our souls. I have dulled your perceptions a little so the light of my true form does not damage you. Unfortunately Sookie reached the limit of the information she could take in a little while ago, so I will have to visit her several more times before she understands. If I do exchange your bodies, this is how you will stay, and I cannot exchange you back again, you will never visit your family again, can you accept that?" As much as I would love to look this way permanently, I had to think of them, but I also had a whole world to deal with here. "Will I be able to send them letters like you are to Adele? And is there a way I can see them, like a crystal ball or a pond or something, just so I know are happy? Of course this all depends on if this is what Sookie wants too, I would never push her out of her own life permanently without asking. I know you want to keep her safe, and if I'm selfishly honest I would rather be here than there, as much as I love my family and friends, I know they'll be okay without me. So if you really want to sell it to her, tell her she can have a normal life she always dreamed of there, and I never wanted that, I always dream of the supernatural, of flying and shifting and meaning something, being more than just the normal girl in the background."

"How do you know of the vision pools?" Fintan sounded almost angry as he asked this, with a frown on his face.

"I told you, I always daydreamed of the supernatural, plus I read tons, and there's usually something like them, so after seeing one world from a storybook become reality, it isn't much of a stretch to believe in objects from others is it?" Fintan smiled then and looked relieved.

"I had forgotten you had such knowledge. Yes, there is a way you can check on your family once the transfer is complete, and as for passing letters, you will need a messenger, so I shall ask Sookie, if she agrees to the permanent exchange. Are you sure you are willing?"

"I am more than willing to permanently change to this reality, I feel so much better here than at home, but if Sookie wants her life, then that's her choice. I'll do what I can to change things while she decides, and I'll return her body in as close to perfect condition as I can."

"Thank you for this. If there is ever anything I can do to help, I will do my best. I will come to you with her answer as soon as I can. It's time for you to go now child, good luck, and tell the Viking you have my protection, it should help him adjust if Sookie does agree to the exchange."As we were talking the sun was rising over the mountains in the distance, and as soon as it peeked over and the light touched me, I was enveloped in warmth and woke up in Sookie's bedroom once again.


	4. Chapter 4

As I opened my eyes I had to shed a few tears for those I was willing to leave behind, but then I remembered my responsibilities here, and I composed myself and got up to start my day.

Once I was ready I went to the kitchen to greet Gran, and have breakfast before writing the letters I would send to my family.

"Good morning child, you're up early, I thought you wanted to sleep in, I wasn't going to wake you up for a couple hours yet."

"I thought I had slept in, what time is it?"

"It's only 8 Sweetie, do you want to go back to bed?"

"No thanks Gran I feel plenty rested. I have a letter for you from Fintan, I saw him and Sookie in a dream last night. He said it was too dangerous to you to see each other yet, but I will pass letters back and forth if you like."Gran was trembling with tears in our eyes by this point she then threw her arms around me and started crying while saying thank you over and over.

"Gran there's no need to thank me, I'm sure anyone in my position would be happy to, it's only passing letters."She pulled back and stayed me in the eye then.

"You and I both know not many would."

"Well I and most if not all of the people who wrote fanfictions for this series would, as would the readers. You are loved by so many people who've never met you, even those of us who have fantastic grandmothers still wish you could be ours too."

"Don't exaggerate to make an old woman feel better."

Now it was my turn to stare into her eyes. "You and I both know that was no exaggeration. You are a fantastic woman and you know it, your modesty won't allow you to admit it, and that just makes you all the better." With that she blushed, let go of me, wiped her eyes and told me "harsh and eat your breakfast before it goes cold, I'm going to read this in my bedroom."

"Yes Gran." I smiled and started on my food.

After cleaning up my breakfast, I went and got some stationary and wrote my letters at the desk in Sookie's room. I didn't realise how long I was taking until Gran came looking for me to find out why I hadn't come out for lunch.

"You okay sweetheart? It's 2 o'clock don't you want lunch?"

"Sorry Gran I lost track of time, I've got some hard letters to write."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No thanks, I'll work it out. Are you okay after Fintan's letter?"

"Yes, he explained a lot of things, I feel better than I have been in a while. Come get some lunch, the letters will keep. Is your vampire coming back tonight?"

"I don't know Gran, and he isn't my vampire."

"You keep telling yourself that dear. You are the one he practically tucked in last night."I wasn't really sure what to say to that, so I just went to the kitchen.

"He woke me up last night you know. Why didn't you tell me he offered us one of his houses to keep you safe?"I panicked a little then, worried he'd glamoured her.

"I'm so sorry to be rude but can I look through your memory? I'm worried he used his glamour."

"I know he didn't, but I also know you won't rest easy until you look, so go ahead."She passed me her hand then to make it easier for me to look. Fintan's gift of strengthening my telepathy made the connection so strong I felt I was sucked right into the memory. I had a feeling this was how Potter felt with the Pensieve.

_Eric sat on the edge of Adele's bed, with her facing away from him, and shook her awake._

"_Mrs Stackhouse, wake up, but don't open your eyes. I don't want Maya to think I've glamoured you."_

"_Okay I'm awake, but please call me Adele, there's no need to play the charmer, the formalities just make me feel old."_

_Eric smiled and said "You really don't miss a thing do you? She said you were more perceptive than a microscope, she wasn't wrong. I need to talk to you about some things I think she would keep from you."_

"_Go ahead."_

"_I have offered to move you both into my house for safety, but apparently you won't leave this house, is that true?"_

"_Under any other circumstances yes, but for her safety I'd leave in a heartbeat, this house and the land only mean so much without family, though I would try my best to make sure the house is here for her to come back to."_

"_You are keeping something from me. I can only be effective if I have all the information."_

"_Now who's the perceptive one hmm? My children were not my husband's, I had an affair with a fairy, Fintan. I didn't realise he was a fairy, let alone son of the Prince. He eventually explained it all to me, but then he had to leave because of civil war. I've been waiting for him ever since. Now danger has come, keeping my family safe is more important than waiting for him to return."_

"_She told me she was related to fairies but not how, I suppose that she thought he your story to tell. I can have security installed to keep watch for Fintan if you like, but it really would be best for you to come stay with me. If you love all history and not just the war here, I have a library of books to read, not to mention my own experiences I can share with you."_

"_You don't need to blackmail me sir, I'll do it to keep my family safe."_

"_I won't have people feel like prisoners in my home, do not agree unless you want to be there, this wasn't blackmail, I know you know the value of books and will take care, so you are welcome in my library. I also recognise the desire to learn, I have a lot of respect for that, though I can't show it publicly of course. Since the Reveal, it's been nothing but stereotypes for the foolish blood-bags in my bar. I have been very bored, and this is all far too interesting to walk away from."_

"_Thank you. I realise how hard it is to keep up appearances. I hope you know you won't have to do that with us."_

"_I do, and for that I thank you. I will return soon to collect you both, any affairs not sorted by then can be done later. Good night Adele."_

"_Good night."_

As I rose out of the memory I was disoriented a little, then I realised he'd played me, he knew just from hearing about her she'd be willing to move for her family, and he'd realised it was just me not wanting to uproot another Stackhouse that stopped me asking her. Adele had a sad smile on her face as I looked at her.

"Silly girl, of course we're moving. Even if Eric hadn't told me, Fintan did in his letter, so come on, let's pack and get ready. I have a feeling 'soon' meant tonight. I'll call Jason and tell him we're going to visit an old friend of mine for a while, that should keep him satisfied for now. You pack up my old recipe books and the skillet, I'll pack a few photos, then choose your clothes, though I get the feeling that vampire will find an excuse to buy us new ones don't you? Come on child get moving!" I shook myself to get over the shock and went to follow my instructions.

By dinner time we were done, so we sat and had dinner, then after we cleaned up we passed the time playing a game of Scrabble. The lady is a Demon! It was like playing against the walking dictionary, she knew just which words to play and where to put them to do the most damage. After my rather humiliating defeat, we decided to play Monopoly, which was what we were doing when I had an idea.

"Ah! Eric Northman your invitation is rescinded unless you knock before entering this house."

"What was that for?"

"He spent so long being the most powerful being around bar a select few, he's forgotten a lot of manners, and some I don't think he ever learned, so I'm going to teach him a few. Plus, it'll give Pam a real kick without damaging his reputation."

"Just be careful it doesn't come back to bite you dear, in this case it may be literally remember."

"Oh I will, it'll only be in front of a select few, I'm not fool enough to do it publicly, that _will_ earn a bite. Can I buy Mayfair please?"

"Mayfair?"

"Sorry, used to the English board, I meant Boardwalk."

"How are you coping with the change? I never thought to ask before."

"As well as I can, I'm lucky I never drove at home and played plenty of American videogames, that could have been _really_ fun yesterday otherwise. I just need to remember things like_ fries_ not_ chips_ and_** never**_ order a_ ham_burger unless I want spam while I'm out, and I should be fine, unless I have an accident, and ask for A&E instead of the ER, that would_ not_ be a good idea."

"I can imagine, I'd wonder for a moment why you'd want to go to Arts and Entertainment if you were injured before it would dawn on me that you wanted the Emergency Room."

"Yeah, lots of fun. Oh, hello, let's see if he knows his manners, two blips coming closer."

"How do you know it's them?"

"Because it's two stuck together, and they are _high_. Eric flies, and unless it's an absolutely dire situation he'll only carry Pam."


	5. Chapter 5

The blips landed in the back garden and walked to the door, the handle turned and opened a little way before it stopped. "Is there a reason I am no longer welcome, ladies?" There was a hint of ice in his tone. I bounced up and to the door, opened it and said, "you are welcome, as long as you knock first. It's rude to just barge in, that rule is for almost every door in this house. I figured I'd make sure you got that now, before you barged in on me changing." Pam was snickering in the background at this, so I added, "I'm glad you find it funny Pam, that rule applies to you too. Unless you live in the house you knock before entering, and Everyone knocks before entering another person's space. Sorry I had to do that, please come in both of you." I moved out of the way to let them in.

"It's not a good idea to play with fire, you never know when you'll get burned." Eric said as he stood above me, clearly trying to intimidate me and seduce me, but unfortunately for him, I can switch off response to that kind of thing, so I simply replied in a low voice "I love to play with fire." That was actually true in a literal sense, I was always playing with a lighter or a candle when I was younger, matches didn't last long enough. I went back to sit at the table, Gran had already warmed two bloods and put them on the table.

"Do we have time to finish our game, or would you like to leave now?" I asked.

"Leave? To go where?" Innocent did not sit well on Eric, it was far too obviously an act.

"Oh, I don't know, where would you suggest Mr Manipulative?"

"Master she knows your name after one meeting? I dread to say it, but you may be losing your touch." Pam added with mock horror.

"Don't mock his reputation Pammy, you know he'll only go after your Louboutins for it." Pam got paler that, but still kept her trademark poker face, he'd trained her well.

"It'll be the Gucci if she carries on, the Louboutins are for public mistakes. If you are carrying on your game may we deal in?"

"So you can kick our arses? No thanks! You can each help one of us though, that should make it interesting."

Even with Eric's help I lost to Gran. The look of disbelief on Eric's face was so comical we all had to laugh, but I put him out of his confusion by telling him "never underestimate a little old lady. If you're looking at a lineup for a crime, and there's a little tiny old lady, especially if she has a shopping trolley, choose her. Behind that sweet, innocent face is a mind that, as you've seen can outwit even you."

"Thank you, dear." Gran said as she was tidying away.

"No problem Gran, you know I hope to be as devious as you one-day." Pam was still giggling quietly when she said "Oh Master, I think I may just come and live with you for a while, these ladies are more than your match! No fear of boredom around them, that's for sure!" Eric simply shook his head with a look on his face that quite clearly said 'what have I let myself in for?'

Rather than drive 3 cars, we all piled into my car with Eric driving, and left Gran's car behind.

"Don't go all lead foot on the beater Eric, it isn't your car remember, and if Sook comes back to find it destroyed she'll throw a fit."

"Why are we driving this _thing_ in the first place?" He asked with a disgusted tone.

"Because it covers our story of me driving Gran to an old friend's place to visit a while. Although, now I'm thinking, Jason will tell everyone in the bar, Sam will go to the house, smell you, and call thinking you've kidnapped us something. OH! And we have to deal with the maenad too, though I think if we get Lafayette out of town before Mike Spencer kills him, she won't turn up in the first place."

"Child how exactly did you get from the car to Lafayette dying?" Gran asked in a puzzled manner.

"Cover story to Jason, Jason to bar, bar to Sam, Sam to his affair with the Maenad, whose visit was caused by Mike killing Lafayette at orgy. So to avoid the whole thing we need to get Lafayette out of Bon Temps. You have somewhere he could work Eric?"

"Why should I put myself out for some blood-bag I don't even know?"

"Because if you don't she will come looking for tribute, do you really want to risk that after Saint Petersburg?" Both vampires stiffened at the mention of that, clearly they didn't realise just how much I knew, or at least didn't believe me until then.

"Look we don't have to worry about that just yet, that's not for a couple months, I really need to write all this down, Eric do you have a laptop I can use please?"

"We're stopping in at Best Buy before going to my home."

"No need, I have spares at my home for the next time you threw yours at the wall, along with cell phones, office furniture and doors, it easier to bulk by." Pam added in a matter of fact voice.

"Oh Pam, what he do without you?" I laughed, the old saying really was true, Women can live without men, but Men cannot live without women.

Once we had stopped at Pam's to pick up a laptop, mobile and iPod for me, and a phone for Gran too, it was half an hour before we got to Eric's house, where I was in for an even bigger shock than waking up as Sookie Stackhouse.

"What...Whe...How?" I couldn't do anything but stare and stammer like a fool.

"Finally speechless are we?" Smug bastard.

"Eric, I have been dreaming about this house for four years. In all of my 'if I win the lottery' fantasies, I build this house. I think I'm allowed to be surprised!"

The house was just as I imagined it. Less of a house really, more like a mini mansion, but I've always had big dreams. It was made of large blocks of pale stone, stone I still didn't know the name of, three stories tall with lots of windows, and a double garage to one side. As we walked in I saw the inside was as I imagined too, open plan mostly, with three doors at corners of the house to closed in rooms that in my head were an office, the library, and a home cinema. The kitchen was huge, with lots of gadgets to make it modern, but a slate floor and other touches to make it rustic and homey. The living area was focused around a large circular fire pit, that had a marble edge for drinks, and a cover that could be put on top as a table when it was too hot for a fire.

"I've always liked that area, too many human homes focused around the TV now, if they have a family area at all, this is more like my human days, when stories with the entertainment, always told around the fire, whether we were home, raiding, or visiting other towns." Came Eric's voice from behind me.

"I've always liked fires too, and talking around them. Why did you buy this house Eric?"

"Who would ever suspect vampires lives in a house so obviously built for a lover of sunshine?"

"Fair point, but that's not the only reason. You'll tell me when you're ready. You'll also tell me why you brought us to this home instead of one of the others. Where's Gran and Pam?"

"Upstairs choosing a room, I believe Adele is getting tired."

"Yeah it is getting late, I'm gonna go up and see her, would you start fire please?" Eric nodded his agreement and got started as I went upstairs.

"How're you doing Gran?"

"I'm fine child, just a little tired, but Pam is helping me out. It's all so exciting, it's like being in one of my books, but I'll be glad to get some rest soon, these old bones are starting to protest." I couldn't help but laugh at her, and Pam cracked a grin too. "Gran, I _am_ living in one of my storybooks! Although I must admit, I am having a lot of fun here, I just hope I don't fail anyone when push comes to shove. But anyway, it's late, I'll let you get to sleep. Night Gran, I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night dear. Don't worry about failing, we are all here to help you."

"Thanks Gran."

When I got back downstairs Pam and Eric were sitting discussing who they should have me read first.

"Tell you what, make it easier, why don't I just come with you into the bar and I can interview the staff there, and we can add to the list if there's time. Oh and Pam, you should bring any pets you have, I don't think they're a problem, but better safe than sorry."

"I don't have any at the moment."

"Probably best that way for now, the Fellowship of the Sun are sneaky bastards."

"The Fellowship? A bunch of pussies are no threat to us!"

"You know the Pyramid of Gizeh hotel in Rhodes?"

"What about it?"

"If we can't stop them, they will level it, at the summit you guys are having. The Queen loses her legs, Andre finally dies, Sookie only got you to out because she managed to wake Eric up, get you in a coffin, shatter a window and slide down the building. **Do not** under estimate them, it would be fatal."

"Why should I listen to you? How do you know so much anyway?"

"What? Eric haven't you told her yet?"

"Told me what?"

"No _brak_ I haven't yet, I don't fully understand myself." I couldn't help but think of what my mum was always saying, if you want something done, do it yourself. I explained everything again to Pam, and aside from a mildly surprised look, her only response was "Well now I know why he called you _brak_."

"Yeah what exactly does that mean? I don't mind nicknames as long as I know what they mean."

"It means trouble."

"Oh no, not you too! I thought I'd escaped that name! Although to be fair you do have more reason to call me it than everyone else who ever has."

"What are you babbling about?" Pam never was known for her patience.

"My usual nickname is trouble. Teachers, family, friends, most have called me it at one point or another. Strangely enough though, if they called me trouble it usually meant they liked me."

"Master why does she keep babbling?"

"Fuck off Pammy don't be such a whiny child. I thought you were better than the snotty trust fund babies, guess not."

"Enough!" Eric cut us off before we got any further into a bitching match. "Pamela go home, she has a point you are whining."

"But!"

"HA!"

"**Stop!** Pam has a point too, you were babbling. Go to bed you are obviously tired. Good night Pam, I will see you at the club tomorrow." Pam shot me a filthy look that clearly said 'this isn't over'. I just poked my tongue out and gave a big cheesy grin. She reminded me a bit of my little brother, nothing got them going like thinking they were just funny after be trying to be insulting or scary. Once we heard the front door slam and I checked to make sure Pam's void was in fact leaving, Eric turned to me and said "Drop the act she's gone, what did you want to say without her around?"

"Who said it was an act? I meant what I said."

"Get to the point. This is why people call you _brakmakare."_ I couldn't help but grin that.

"I know. What I needed to say was there is a chance I'll be getting my body here, if not, you'll get Sookie. Fintan is talking to her and explaining, or trying to explain, the situation, then she has to decide if she wants to leave or come back, but whatever her choice, it'll be permanent. I needed warn you so if you woke to a hazel eyed brunette walking around your house, I wouldn't find myself against a wall with fangs in my throat. No one else needs to know until the decision is made. Now onto more enjoyable subjects, would you mind telling me a story about your Gods? I like stories of Loki best."

"Why him? There are better gods."

"Seriously? You call me _Brakmakare_ and you have to ask me 'why him?' Besides, he's a survivor. All this shit about him being evil, that's just the story writers pissed off because he got away again."

"You may have a point there. Very well, I shall tell you of the time he cut Lady Sif's hair and replaced it with gold."

I don't remember how far he got, because between the sound of his voice, the crackle and warmth of the fire and the comfy sofa, I was asleep.

I woke up with Eric's hand on my shoulder nudging me awake.

"Hm? Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep. I guess I forgot this body can't handle being up all night yet." I said as I sat up.

"Do you ever stop talking? And what white mice were you dreaming about?"

"Oh no.. I thought I'd grown out of that one!" I buried my face in my hands in embarrassment.

"What?"

"It's a bit of a long story, but basically I used to talk in my sleep a lot as a kid, mum used to have conversations with me. I thought I'd grown out of it. Evidently, it's not often I shut up, unless I feel really out of place and don't want to call attention to myself, or I feel really comfortable, and I shut up just to enjoy it."

"And people say_ I'm_ complicated." I had to laugh at that.

"Yeah, at least you have an excuse. I'm just annoying."

"Perhaps. Remember we all wear masks whether we realise it or not."

This was all getting a little much for me to take after just waking up. I had to change the subject quick. Of course, this was just proving his point about masks, but at that point I just needed an out.

"Is there somewhere nearby I can get a decent camera? I miss my photography." He's raised eyebrow told me I wasn't fooling him, bloody microscope that he is, but bless him he played along.

"What do you want?" I opened my mouth to tell him the model of my camera, then realised, _time difference_. They hadn't made it yet. _Shit._

"Um, a decent but portable digital, I don't think you'll appreciate me using a film camera, not with all the silver that comes with it."

"I have a building at the back of the property you can use if you are careful. Why photography?"

"It gives me the same therapy I imagine sharpening a sword gives you. It can be calming, but at other times energising. Plus I figure I can try and make you some money with it during the day, while I use the telepathy in the bar to save money. Try and pay you back in whatever way I can for not just killing me out right."

"Hmm. Fair enough. Now go to bed you are rambling again. Someone will be here during the day with cameras for you to choose from. The rest can wait until next Monday night when I can supervise."

"Thank you, Eric. Really do want to pay you back. Contrary to appearances, I'm not a selfish bitch."

"I know. Now shut up and go to bed _Brakmakare_ it's close to dawn."

"And thank you for the story even though I fell asleep."

"_Måste jag göra__allt själv_" He muttered. It was all the warning I got before I was lifted and carried to a bedroom at what felt like warp speed. "Bed. **Sleep**."

I nodded as I got into bed. I wasn't even going to attempt washing or changing before getting in with him standing over me. It was my own fault and I knew it. I would suffer the morning if it meant I didnt annoy him any more.

"Sorry I'm so annoying sometimes. I'll be quiet as a mouse in future I promise."

"Mice are no good to me. A mouse would have died last night. My people did not respect mice-women. But you must not push yourself too much too fast, a burned out _Brakmakare_ is no good to me either."

"I know, I just don't like to sleep when I'm having fun. It doesn't happen often enough to me for me to walk away easily."

"It must end because the sun is rising. Goodnight."

"Night." I didn't even hear him shut the door , because I had finally fallen asleep again.

* * *

><p>AN That's all for now, I'm still writing the rest. Sorry I can't work to a schedule but my muses just don't work that way, forgive me. Please review, feel free to ask to have something added, and if you see mistakes please let me know, I have no Beta, just Microsoft Word's spell check!

I don't own the Sookieverse, I'm just invading for a while :D

Brakmakare - Troublemaker

Måste jag göraallt själv - Must I do everything myself

If you know the words are wrong please feel free to correct me!


	6. Chapter 6

I am so sorry I took so long to upload this! I've written pages and pages I just forget to type it up! Please forgive me...

* * *

><p>I woke up feeling like a caged tiger with a two inch scratch on my left thigh.<p>

"What the fuck?" I searched the bed for what could have scratched me, and found nothing. Then it dawned on me. "Sookie." I went to get dressed and realised I was just in a vest and my underwear.

"Sneaky bastard." I said as I shook my head. "Well I hope he enjoyed his ogle. With any luck I'll have my own body soon, and if she's scratched that I'll kill her myself." I got dressed in shorts and a tee and went to find the gym I could only hope had been built.

As I passed through the kitchen Gran stopped me and asked me to sit for breakfast.

"Gran, I love you. In fact, there are so many of us at home that love you, you'll never fathom how large your family really is. But today, I need to hit the gym before I start smashing things." I kissed her on the head then went to look in the grounds for a gym.

I found the gym about half an hour later, and it was fantastic. The size of a small house, it was on three levels with a pool, Jacuzzi and sauna on one floor machines and weights on the next, and finally what I was looking for, a room with gym mats in one corner, and a punch bag on a pulley system to take it from the edge of the room to the centre. One wall was blocked off by shutters, but I didn't bother to investigate. I just move the bag to the middle and proceeded to lay into it.

I must have passed out, because I woke sometime later to find someone touching my leg. I started lashing out before I could register who it was. I managed to land a couple of hits and get across the room before reality dawned and I realised it was Eric.

"Shit! I'm sorry Eric, I don't really react well to being woken up. Are you healing?" He simply nodded. "How did I manage to hit you?"

"I was not expecting an attack."

"Sorry again. I really don't like being woken up. And the scratch has me more jumpy than usual."

"What happened? It wasn't there last night."

"You would know. Not sure I'm happy about that, but what's done is done. I woke up with the scratch this morning. I'm assuming it's something to do with Sookie that Fintan didn't realise would happen. He'll turn up eventually. If it takes too long there's someone I can ask to get a message to him."

"What were you doing in here to pass out for so long? Adele was worried."

"Beating shit out of the punch bag so I didn't smash anything. I passed out because I didn't eat. Not a good move I know but there you go." I was babbling again because I was worried Eric would finally decide I was too much trouble. I was about to start speaking again when I felt myself pulled from my body.

I opened my eyes to find myself in the same Summerlands valley I met Fintan in before.

"Sorry to pull you so abruptly child." Fintan apologised.

"I was kind of expecting it, but Eric isn't going to be happy. I was mid conversation about this scratch on my leg. Where the fuck did that come from by the way?"

"What scratch?" A lady I could only assume was the Ancient Pythoness asked rather sharply.

"The fuck? Fintan, _Please _stop messing with my perceptions! In answer to your question Lady, the two inch kinda deep scratch that appeared this morning. I didn't cause it, so I'm assuming Sookie did, which is a little worrying don't you think?"

"Fintan you must exchange them, NOW!"

"Lady, I'm not arguing, but why? Why so quick?"

"You know I am a Seer?" I nodded. Blind or not, she made microscopes and telescopes look like dirty bottles. "Then no more need be said. Fintan, now."

"Yes Lady." With that he pulled from his jacket a knife that looked disturbingly familiar.

"Where the bloody hell did you get that knife?! I thought Will shattered the damned thing!"

"The pieces were gathered re-forged again."

"Why? Don't you know what it does? That thing almost destroyed the universe! Is there another way to make the transfer?"

"It is long and painful child, I thought this way would be easier." Fintan said.

"Easy isn't always right. I'll take the pain, just destroy that thing lock up all the pieces up and throw away the key. And can you get a message to Eric and Gran before she worries herself sick please."

"It will be done."

"Okay, let's get started."


	7. Chapter 7

_10 minutes after the girl collapsed, Eric sensed the presence of another being in the room. He crouched over her body ready to attack if necessary, and hissed "Show yourself!"_

"_I'm glad to see you protecting her _krigaren._ But for now she must come with me, she is transferring back to her own body. It seems there is more to this girl, and maybe her whole world than we thought. She recognised the artefact we were going to use to complete the transfer and immediately lectured us about it. Us! Beings of power and age she cannot conceive! She refused to let us use it and so this may take a while rather than one evening. She also insisted we tell you. Seem to think you might go on a bit of a rampage if you didn't know anything. She didn't say that of course, but I think she knows you rather well. I remember the massacre last time you lost a charge. Anyway, come, bring the girl, I've left letters with the grandmother and your child, the Lady won't wait any longer."_

"_Where am I taking her?"_

"_Out of this realm, to middle ground."_

"_Fine. Lead." Eric had always hated this messenger of the Lady's, there was no way to describe it, it was neither male or female, large or small, fast or slow. If you couldn't describe something, you couldn't figure out weaknesses. He picked up his _brakmakare's _body to follow the creature. Wait. _His?_ Since when had he considered her_ his_? Probably about the same time he first called her_ brak. _He did seem to collect troublemakers, just look at Pam. While he was picking her up, the scene was creating a doorway to the middle ground. As he stepped through the door with the messengers hand on his arm, Eric couldn't help but think_

Now we'll see what you're really like _brakmakare._

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><p>Krigaren - Warrior<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

"We must move to middle ground to complete the transfer. Fintan, open the doorway. My messenger is collecting the Viking and the body. Come child, hold my arm I will guide you through."

As I got my bearings after stepping through the doorway with the Pythoness, I couldn't help but say "Oh you are fucking kidding me. **TWO** extra books in one day! Or should I say series! His Dark Materials **AND** The Chronicles of Narnia! Fuck me..."

Of course, I found myself in the forest with pools all over the place that led to other worlds. I couldn't help but wonder which led to the Witch's dead world, or to Narnia.

"Why do you swear so much?" The Pythoness asked me, a little irritated.

"Sorry, usually I mind my language, but honestly can you blame me today? It's not even been a whole week since I woke up as Sookie Stackhouse and now all this?"

"Fair enough child. Come, Fintan said you wanted to see your family." She led me over to a pool where I could see my family carrying on as hurt think I had so little impact, but it was also good to see them okay. I didn't like to leave my Granma, she never really got over losing my dad, but as long as I could write to her, we would be okay. I also didn't like to leave my cousin, she'd always been quiet, and I worried about people mistreating her, she was so important to me I was very protective, but I had to remember she's my _older_ cousin and perfectly capable of protecting herself, and had more than enough brains to know when to ask for help.

"Your sister?" Came a deep voice from behind me. I had to smile, I'd always considered her my sister, no matter what the family tree said.

"No, not really. She's my cousin, but I do think of her as my sister. She kept me balanced for a long time when we were young." He crouched next to me and handed me a handkerchief. I hadn't realised I was crying, but I wasn't surprised.

"The Lady sent me to come and get you. It's time."

"I hadn't even realised she was gone."

"You've been sat here for hours apparently." He helped me get up and walk. Evidently I had been there a while, my legs were asleep. As we walked up I could see two bodies lying on the floor and the Pythoness next to them. The blonde body was reverting from the 25-year-old to 12, and it was fast.

"Sook's okay?" I asked.

"Yes child. Her transfer is quick and quite painless. Yours on the other hand will not be."

"Why not?" Eric asked.

"Because I'm not normal. I should never have gotten that scratch. That's why the urgency, Fintan is worried me being injured will affect Sookie, but Pythia here knows there's more to it."

Eric hissed at me and covered my mouth with his hand. "Have some respect! She is the Ancient Pythoness, the Pythoness or the Lady!"

"Let her go Eric." He immediately complied. I rolled my eyes.

"No wonder you live in isolation most of the time." I said. "They must make you feel so **OLD** with all that formality!"

"**Maya!**"

"What Eric? Just because she looks old and infirm and is physically older than you doesn't make her old! Old age is a state of mind. My grandmothers are both over 60, and have the energy of women half their age! Yes, be polite, but for fuck sake don't make a woman feel old!" By this point Eric was frozen, either in shock or anger I wasn't sure, and Pythia was laughing. "Eric, look at her. Really look. Is anyone holding her up? Has she needed anyone to stop her falling in a pool? It's all an act Eric. A ruse to make people underestimate her. You should know all about that after Appius' little stunt a thousand or so years ago." Eric flinched a little at that.

"Do not talk about my maker. He is not a kind or patient man. He would destroy you."

"He can try. Look Eric, I know you have mixed feelings about the sadistic bastard, but I'm telling you now, if he becomes a threat I will kill him. No second chances."

"You realise I would have to stop you."

"You wouldn't be able to. Anyway, let's get the show on the road. Just step into the body Pythia?"

"Oh child, you are such fun, I'll be seeing you often I think! Yes, just step into the body, the rest will be automatic."

I stepped in and like a fool thought _this isn't so bad._ Moron. Famous last words those. As soon as I finished the thought I was frozen into the body and felt indescribable pain. I could only hope it worked faster than expected.


	9. Chapter 9

"_Is she okay?"_

"_No Eric she isn't. This is the price she must pay."_

"_Why must she pay it?"_

"_Because she is upsetting the balance. Changing the future. Not to mention activating the body of a race that abandoned their magic aeons ago."_

"_What race?"_

"_The name has been lost. It is best no one outside the three of us know her heritage. Not even Fintan has any idea what he was setting into motion when he came to me about his granddaughter. She's a good girl," she said looking at the blonde, "feisty, but a proud fool. It is better this way, though it may seem hard to see at times. She will protect you as much as you her."_

"_I need no protecting!"_

"_Fool Viking! The Christians may have been wrong about a few things, but pride was not one of them! Too much is a sin and can get you killed!"_

"_Apologies Lady. It will... Take some getting used to. She looks so fragile it is hard to comprehend."_

"_Look again. You haven't seen her body yet." He looked down and saw the small slow changes affecting the body in front of them. Hair was growing even longer and changing colour, nails were growing and shaping, bones and muscles lengthened to make her taller. She was changing shape to become the perfect balance between soft woman and hard warrior. He also noticed that though her skin developed a soft russet tan, her arms and shoulders held faint silvery lines that looked organic, like vines or roots._

"_What is that on her arms? Those markings?"_

"_They are her mark. Only those who can be trusted will see them unless she decides otherwise, and it isn't just her arms. They are signs of her power, and many will come to see it. You will need to train her to fight, though don't go too easy on her, she's a fast learner." Eric laughed._

"_She has Warriors instincts already." He said. "I woke her up and got a broken nose for my trouble. And that was after she passed out from not eating all day and attacking the punching bag in my gym. She definitely earned_ brakmakare_, and I've only known her a few days."_

"_You also need to be aware of the fact she can read vampires if she chooses to, though she didn't know it when she told you she couldn't, Fintan added strength to the telepathy thinking it would help."_

"_Bloody fairies."_

"_Don't curse him just yet, it may be useful. I need to leave for now, I will be back in three days to guide you both home. Do not step in the pools, you have no way back. Remember, light is different here, it won't harm you." Eric nodded and said goodbye. The Pythoness turned and disappeared._

"_If you were that much trouble when it was just your mind, how much worse will you be when you are whole?" He muttered to the woman on the ground in front of him. He had to acknowledge she was a woman and not a girl, to have such knowledge that even he with his thousand years of experience didn't, impressed him._


	10. Chapter 10

I'd reached the point with the pain where I no longer felt it. I was numb. Someone had told me once that being numb was like floating. It wasn't. When I floated I felt everything. My pulse, my breath, the slight movement of the water on my skin, my hair as it moved in the water. This was more like being smothered. It was intensely uncomfortable. In what felt like an instant I could hear something. Unfortunately, regaining that one sense returned all the others and I was in pain again.

"Come on girl time to get moving!" The voice was female and had a no-nonsense attitude that you didn't argue with.

"Which way?"

"Use your head girl, I know you've got one!"

"All right! All right!" Somehow I managed to get moving. As I moved, the pain impossibly (or so I thought) began to intensify, then slowly decrease, like working an overused muscle. After another indeterminate amount of time, I felt like a body again, not just a mass of thoughts. I slowly opened my eyes, and saw blue. Eric was inches away from my face.

"A little space please?" At that he inexplicably burst into giggles. A 6'4" guy built like the raider he was, giggling, was a _damn_ strange thing to wake up to!

"What the fuck are you giggling at?"

"You are still you. Even after only a few nights I'd recognise that voice and attitude anywhere. I was concerned the magic would change you."

"Oh please, my own mother couldn't change my attitude, what makes you think a bit of magic could? I want to run let's go." Despite being in pain minutes before, I was full of energy.

"We must wait here for the Pythoness."

"How long's she gonna be?"

"Another two days, you woke up sooner than expected."

"I had a little help."

"Who?"

"I have a feeling you'll meet them soon enough, and I'm not sure you'll like it at first. Dig a hole about half a foot wide and let's go." I figured if it worked for Digory Kirke and Polly Plumber, it would work for us too.

The hole dug, we started jogging, and I slowly built up speed until the trees were a blur. All my life I'd had a list, with each sentence starting 'I wish I could...' Except the last one, which said 'I wish I could do anything I wanted with no weaknesses.' Just to sum it up. Running stupidly fast with perfect control was on that list. So was the next thing I wanted to try.

"Eric stop." We came to a halt immediately. How we hadn't left a trail of destruction in our wake I'll never understand.

"What?"

"Can I read your mind for a few seconds?" He frowned at that.

"Couldn't you do it without permission?"

"Yes." He looked downright glacial after that. "But I don't like invasions of privacy any more than you do, or did you forget my point about doors already?" He smiled a little at that. I was officially intrigued.

"Eric are you normally this expressive or is it just recent? Because the you in the books came across as a real arsehole, apart from that week you lost your memory."

"I have a second gift not many know about." My eyebrows rose. "I get a sense of people. A feel for what type of person they are. Sophie Anne is fair, if a little foolish. Andre is a bully, but loyal to his maker, as are the Berts. Pam is spoil but loyal, though I doubt anyone needs intuition to see that. All vampires are deceptive and generally untrustworthy. You, well you were _interesting_. A mix of honesty, deception, self-preservation, selflessness, a real mess of contradictions. You were trouble, but the fun kind. From the brief read I got before they took her, this Sookie was not the fun kind of trouble."

"You came to love her though."

"If I'm an asshole I am obviously not very happy about it."

"Makes sense. Anyway, can I read your mind or not?"

"You may not like what you read. On the other hand, you may like it very much." He said with a leer.

"Not even here a full day and you start with the suggestions! I shouldn't be surprised really though. It is you after all. Anyway. I want you to think about how you fly. If I can run that fast, I want to see if I can fly too." Eric took my hand and started showing me how he flies. It was like moving a muscle. Difficult to explain in words, but ridiculously simple once shown how. Once we got a few feet up Eric started going off on a tangent a bit. Guess which direction he went in. Turns out, I can mentally flick someone. The pure shock on his face once he felt it and subsequently dropped the ground had me laughing and holding my stomach. I should have been quieter. The look he gave me simply said "you're going to pay for that." I started flying away as fast as I could. He couldn't have been expecting me to run, because I had quite a head start when I had thought I wanted to try out. I suddenly veered left, counted to 5, then darted behind a tree. I put my hand in front of me a few inches apart, and thought about a sphere hanging in between. Amazingly enough, it worked! I made it a little bigger. Then I made it invisible. When that worked, I made it surround me, with 2 inch holes at the front and back to let air travel through so I didn't suffocate. I then used telepathy to find Eric. He was floating in the air a way back, probably wondering what the fuck happened for him to lose the sound of my breathing and pulse. I moved with my bubble to just behind him, (I'd closed the holes the closer I got) then released the bubble, jumped with my arms and legs around him, bit his neck gently and said, "Didya miss me?"

"Foolish girl! What did you do? The Pythoness told me to protect you, how am I supposed to do that if I can't track you?"

"I get you were worried, but I am having a good day, Do Not Rain On My Parade! She meant my unconscious body, I'm perfectly capable of protecting myself now. Hold out your hand." He did. I created a little bubble around each of his fingertips. The first I made solid and started to close the hole I left for his finger, cutting into him. Once he had a thin shallow cut around his finger, I gently opened and pulled the bubble away, letting him heal. The second I filled with salt water. Unpleasant for vamps, as Waldo well knew. I let the bubble go. The next I filled with weak sunlight, enough to get the point across without doing real damage. The last bubble I turned to silver, and cut him slightly again. Then I released that one, created a larger one filled with water around his hand to wash it, emptied it and filled it with warm air to dry it.

"I have a very good imagination. I can manipulate those bubbles to any size, any material, fill them with anything. And before you worry about lots of people at once, attack this." I let go of him, sank to the ground, and created a bubble that was clear but impenetrable, except for small tube I pushed into the ground and across a few feet, to come up as air supply hidden by grass. It would take less energy to have a pipe than constantly replenish oxygen. I had put "no need to breathe" on my list, but I saw no need to make myself uncomfy. I closed my eyes and slipped into Eric's head.

_I'm not invading, the bubble is soundproof. This way we can still talk. Although I have had a thought. Stand still, touch your hand to the barrier, and tell me what you see._

I found his senses, and blocked his eyesight. He snatched his hand away thinking that was causing it.

_Eric! Calm down._

Of course he didn't. I couldn't blame him. I let the barrier go and jumped on his back again.

"Eric, stop." He did. He was breathing heavily, obviously trying to compensate for his lack of sight by using his nose. "I'm sorry I didn't give you a little more warning. I've blocked your sight. If I change my focus, I can block other senses. If I use your own cells against you, I can make it permanent. So you see, I'm fine. If we find ourselves in a fight, I won't be a liability. As I said, I have a great imagination, and now, my imagination controls the limits of my powers." I let go of the block on his sight. "I'm really sorry I had to show you that way, but it would have been hard to convince you otherwise, wouldn't it?"

"Yes. It would have. Why do you keep jumping on my back?" I was glad to hear he'd somewhat recovered.

"Because from here if you did something I didn't like I could have silver at your spine in seconds, making your self-preservation instincts kick in and you freeze."

"How do you know I wouldn't just attack? Silver burns heal."

You didn't get to over a thousand by mindlessly attacking. I am sorry I shocked you like that. Forgive me?"

"You already know I have. Let's go back to wait for the Lady and you can show me what else you can think of and do." I saw a golden opportunity, and I planned to take it.

"Oh, I can think of a few things," I kissed his neck and wriggled on his back. "But unfortunately we're in a forest, with untouchable pools everywhere, so you'll have to wait."

"_Lilla brakmakare_ you are playing with fire again." He growled.

"But I _like_ fire, watch." I proceeded to make pale green fire burn along our skin for a few seconds, then put it out. "Ooh, can I be cheeky?"

"You haven't asked permission so far, why this time?"

"Because I can't take the piss too often can I. Could you tell me that story about Loki? The one I fell asleep through, about Lady Sif's hair. I'm more awake this time." He chuckled.

"Am I to carry you the whole way back as I tell it?"

"That was the cheeky part." I grinned.

"Very well, but if you fall I will not catch you."

"Yes you will."

"I wouldn't be so sure."

"You wouldn't risk me falling here, Pythia would have your bollocks and your fangs."

"True. Do you have an answer for everything?"

"Pretty much actually, yeah. There's a reason my other nickname is Marmite."

"What's that?"

"A type of food. It's got a really strange flavour, and the slogan is 'Love it or hate it'. Same goes for me." By this point we were almost back to where we started from. "Hey, I still want that story you know."

"I know. Can you make that fire warm without burning the forest?"

"Sure."

"Good, you know these stories were always told around a fire. Down you get, we are here."

I made the fire in the hole, and was about to sit on the ground when Eric pulled me into his lap.

"Not complaining, but why?" I asked as I got comfy.

"It just feels better. I could make a sexual comment, but I won't. It just feels good to have you close. What's odd is I don't care. A week ago I would have avoided you for making me feel dependant in any way, if I didn't kill you. But I feel calmer now. I'll still kill anyone who threatens me or mine, but I don't feel as cold." He shook himself. "On with the tale." And so he told me the story until I interrupted him.

"Eric?"

"Yes?"

"I'm tired, I'm going to sleep. Thank you though." He just chuckled a little.

"Go to sleep little one."

And I was out.

* * *

><p>Lilla brakmakare - Little troublemaker<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

When I woke up, my little fire was still burning, and I was still in Eric's lap.

"How long was I out?" I asked him.

"Not long. Maybe an hour or two. I expected your little fire to go out when you fell asleep, but it didn't. So I got curious. Watch." He pulled a blade of grass from next to him, and threw it in the fire. Rather than burn, it took root, and grew.

"Well." I said, a little stunned. "No fear of burning the forest then."

"No. What else can you do?"

"What would you like to see? Oh! Wait! I've got an idea, give me your hand." Once he did, I closed my eyes, entered his mind and went searching, like I did when I shut off his eyesight. This time I was looking for an altered or damaged pathway. I found it and started to fix it, until I was jolted and lost concentration. Eric's had was at his chest.

"What did you do?"

"I figured everything else works so your heart must too, the magic that changes you just doesn't start it again, so I did. I think if I had a little longer I could make it permanent, but for now being able to switch it on and off will be great for disguises."

"I thought we agreed more notice before you do something like that."

"Sorry. Ideas just hit me so fast I try to act before I forget them."

"I thought you had perfect recall?"

"I do, doesn't mean things don't slip my mind until I get a reminder."

"Ah. What now?"

"Now I need to know if I can trust you."

"You have insulted me, assaulted me, invaded my privacy, you can use my body like a puppet _and you are still alive_. You can trust me."

"Good point. Sookie's cousin Hadley, the Queen's fancy bit, had a son. He's telepathic too. In a couple of years we'll need to help his father deal with it and start teaching the boy shields.

"OK." I was getting a little worried about his new 'yes-man' attitude, and him being so laid back, so I decided to test him. I conjured a replica of Andre and made him start walking towards us.

As soon as he saw the replica Eric started plotting.

_Maya! Can you hear me?_

_Yes. A little less yelling if you please._

_Can you make your shield invisible and impenetrable?_

_Yes._

_Do it._

He put me on the ground beside him.

"Andre, to what do we owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"I've come for the girl. The Queen desires her."

"She is mine. She also has protection the Queen couldn't begin to imagine. She won't be going anywhere."

_Be careful of the pools Eric_ I sent.

_I will._

"If you'll not hand her over I shall take her."

"You are younger and less skilled Andre do not bother trying."

Eric was trying to talk someone out of a fight? One he was sure to win? Unusual...

"I will have your head for treason!"

"Try."

Ah... That's better. Once I was sure the warrior was still in him I let the image of Andre fade away.

_Where did he go Maya?_

"It was an illusion Eric. I had to make sure you would still fight, I was getting a little worried." Now that the threat had passed he pulled me back to his lap.

"I will always fight to protect what I mine, never worry about that."

"You've been acting different to the books, I told you. There, you always seem to be waiting for a fight. Like you _need_ a good fight every so often."

"For a long time I fought to feel alive. I was discontent unless I was fighting or fucking. Out of sorts. Now thanks to you I feel calmer, so when a fight does present itself, my mind is clearer than ever before. Plus, my appearing to not want to fight will throw our enemies off, giving us another advantage."

"Ok. As long as you'll fight when you need to."

"I will. Frankly I am insulted you doubted me. I will have to punish you!" The bastard started tickling me!

"I for one am glad she tested you. If I hadn't seen it I would be worried too at the sight of this. The great Northman, tickling!" The Pythoness had appeared without us realising. A little worrying, but something told me it wasn't my fault I didn't sense her.

"Hi Pythia. You're early."

"I decided to check on you and found you awake. Would you like to go back now?"

"May as well. I need to start earning him," I nodded to Eric "some money and I can get a start on some problems."

"Come then."

"Wait, I gotta put out the fire and fill in the hole." Once I had, I took their hands and we left.


	12. Switchover

I am so so sorry it's taken me so long to update! And I'm extra sorry I don't have a new chapter for you, but I've had a lot of upheaval with getting a new job, training for that job, and then being fired from that job.

I'm adding this post to let you know I've created a blogger profile, and will post there more regularly than here as it's easier to update and I can compose and publish on the go through my phone not to mention add photos and links!

To find the blog, go to change-mayastormborn . blogspot . co . uk and remove the spaces

I'll add small posts as alerts here if you want, just send me a PM or a review.

Thank you,

Maya


	13. Chapter 12

A/N Here's the new chapter, I've already added it to my blog, with a special feature, so please pop over and leave some feedback!

* * *

><p>"Ok sitting down." When we got back I had to sit down and get my bearings before I fell over.<p>

"I shall leave you now, but I will be back soon, you are so very fun." Pythia smiled then disappeared.

"How can she do that?" Eric asked bewildered. "I thought she was just an oracle."

"That's what she _wanted _you to think. She's not _ just_ anything. Still waters run deep, hers deeper than most. Is it just me or is it really noisy?" There was lots of rustling, but no wind.

"Can you hear me?" Eric asked.

"Of course I can hear you."

"It seems your hearing has improved."

"Ok, that'll take some getting used to. Pam's coming." He gave me a look to ask how I knew.

"My new ears, my telepathy, and your bond with her. I heard running, a void, and I'm still in your head enough to keep an eye on your bonds but nothing else. Hi Pam." She looked at me for a few seconds, then held her hand out to Eric.

"What now Pamela?"

"I've been running everything for the last few days, and she needs new clothes. She won't fit the others nor would they suit her colouring, and she cannot wear _that _forever." _That_ was the white jeans and strappy top that Sookie had been wearing, that was a little green and brown in patches from the forest.

"Oh, no! Pam, no denying you have great fashion sense but you are _not_ shopping for me! You can shop _with_ me but not for me. Sorry but you don't know my tastes yet. And don't worry about a reward for him being gone, there's a couple drainers need sorting, thought you might like the fun." She stared at me for a few more seconds and then turned to Eric.

"Fine. She can stay." I never did find out what she did with the Rattrays.

"I was staying anyway Pammy. And don't try anything with me you won't win." I was feeling better by this point, so I bounced up off the floor. "Let's go, I want to _run_." Pam snorted.

"You don't know what real running is little girl."

_Eric._

_Yes bråkmakare._

_That whole 'warning first' thing, does that cover her too?_

_No, what are you planning?_

_A little light show, a loud noise, the shock of her life, no lasting damage._

All I got in reply was mental laughter.

I created a bubble around us so no one else would see,lit her skin with harmless fire, rose three feet in the air and made lightning spark around us, then spoke.

"And what do you know about me, brat? I warned you not to mess with me." I lifted her high in the air and began to spin her. Eric was openly laughing by this point.

"She can do more than you or I can imagine my child. Do not judge too quickly. Let her down now Maya."

_Can I drop her?_I asked hopefully

_No._

_Damn._

I stopped spinning her and slowly put her down. I liked Pam, but she had a tendency to judge too fast.

Suddenly, something caught my attention. I stopped the magic and took off running. Eric kept pace and mentally asked me what is was.

_Are we still on your land?_

_Yes, what_is_it Maya?_

_Just keep running._

I sped up.

Once I got closer to the pull I was feeling, I slowed down. When I saw what was there, I simply stood speechless, as did Eric.

"_What_ is _that_? That's the biggest mutt I've ever seen! And where did the tree come from?" Pam. Such a city girl.

"Pamela, that is no mutt. She is a direwolf. The tree is a weirwood. They're from another world, and they're bound to me. Or I to them.I can't tell which."

"There was a tree like this near my village. It had no face but I remember climbing those branches." Eric was still stunned.

The tree was white as bleached bone, with leaves as red as dried blood, and with a strong male face carved into the bark. The wolf had just been watching us. She was a deep russet brown, strange for a direwolf, they were natives of the frozen lands north of the Wall, but there was no mistake she was a direwolf. Four feet high sitting down, this wolf would tower over others. I walked forwards and stood in front of her. Eyes so dark they were almost black started back at me. I must have passed some form of test, because she nudged me with her head, then picked up a dagger I hadn't seen. I took it from her mouth, then took the knife from the sheath, which felt scaly, like snake skin. It was a 7inch blade, with a 3inch flat handle, perfect to slide into a boot, and the blade itself was dark with ripples in it. Once it registered why it looked familiar, my eyes flew to the wolf. Again, I was stunned. Not _snakeskin_. _Dragon_ skin. This was Valyrian steel. I closed my eyes and silently thanked whoever had sent this to me. To us, as the tree obviously held meaning to Eric too. He'd walked to it and was running his hand over the bark. The wolf walked over and nudged his other hand. All of a sudden, we were in the forest, next to Eric's tree, where a miniature Eric was sitting in the low branches watching the road just visible through the trees.

It was his son, looking for his father to come home.

Eric fell to his knees, and as his hand slipped from the tree we were back in Louisiana. Pam and I rushed to him, to find a red tear trailing down his face.

"Master, who was that?" Pam asked softly. "He looked like you."

"That was his son. The morning after Appius came." Eric simply nodded. "Come on, let's go home. Longshadow can wait." We got up and walked to the house, which was surprisingly close.

As we got there Eric said "I'll be fine Pam, Go close the bar and we shall meet you there tomorrow."

After she left Eric pulled me to one of the side rooms (that _was_ a library) and pulled forwards a bookcase to reveal a flight of stairs. If I hadn't been concerned about him, I would have commented on how very cliché it was.

_Eric_?

_Come, stay with me, please_.

_Ok_.

We walked down, through another door and into a living room like the one upstairs, on a smaller scale, with a door off of it.

Eric shut the bookcase-door and scanned his thumb, then the lower door and did the same.

"The doors will open from the inside, and will work like airlock doors until my thumb is scanned again after dark. Will you set a fire for me?"

"Any preference on colour?" He shook his head, so I made it green with flecks of other colours in, like the northern lights. I figured the lights of his homeland might help soothe him.

Eric laid down on the sofa and pulled me to him, while the wolf laid down in front of it.

"Thank you Maya."

"For what?"

"Because of you, I saw my boy again. For a long time I worried Appius had killed my family before coming for me. Now I know he didn't. Thank you."

"Thank the tree. I think that was as much for you as me. Why didn't Pam understand though?"

"I never spoke of my family. At first, it was because it was too painful. Then I fooled myself into believing they were long dead and didn't matter."

"Would you like to talk about them now?"

"No, but thank you. I will soon. Will this fire burn anything or have any strange effects?"

"No, I made sure it wouldn't."

"Then let's just rest and watch it."

We lay there watching the fire for a while, and eventually I drifted off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 13

I know I know, I suck! I left you all hanging for ages, _Again!_I've got a few chapters written and I'm still going, so hopefully I can start some sort of routine, though unless you're a vamp don't hold your breath!

Anyway, on with Chapter 10!

When I woke up I was still on Eric, and feeling incredibly crusty. I looked down and saw the wolf still laying there, so I had to be careful as I stood up. As I walked past she sniffed my ankle then put a paw over her nose and whined.

"Alright cheeky cow I'm going for a bath!" I snipped as I carried on walking.

Fortunately the first door I tried was the bathroom, I didn't want to go see Gran in this state. When I say 'bathroom' I mean that in the loosest possible sense. This room was bigger than most people's _houses_ let alone bathroom! There was a huge walk-in shower (with several shower heads) in marble and glass, a large sink set into long unit with mirrors above it and floor length along the rest of the wall, a sauna, a hot tub with a waterfall into a bloody pool(!?) and a tub big enough for four. Not to mention all the hidden features I hadn't found yet. So far, no toilet. Not surprising bearing in mind vamps have no need for them. Fortunately I wasn't desperate to go, so a quick shower to clean off the dirt, a hunt for a shirt and some boxer shorts (don't even ask about his wardrobe. I've seen smaller shops) and I was off upstairs to find a loo and some food and see Gran.

"Hi Gran! Good to see you again." After finding a loo just upstairs on the first floor, I went looking in the most likely place to find Gran, the kitchen. She loved to cook, and if she needed to sit down there was the stools at the breakfast bar. When I found her she was sitting at the bar with a book and what looked like multigrain bread proving next to her, while something amazing-smelling cooked in the oven.

"Hello child! It's good to see you're back." She put her book down and got up to give me a cuddle, without even batting an eyelash at my body. This woman was amazing.

"It's good to be back, and be myself! How's everything been?" We both sat down at the bar to chat.

"It's been good, after reading the letters we were left, Pamela decided to take me into Fangtasia with her as it was a slow night. I spoke to a few of the girls and they're all struggling to do everything, they're at college, working, sleeping, studying, they barely have time to buy food let alone cook and eat! So we agreed they'd all give me half their tips that night, I'd go shopping and cook up some good home meals they can heat up quick or eat cold and still be healthy, then take them in each night an hour before opening, until we can speak to Eric about a permanent solution."

"Wow Gran, that's amazing! You'd be brilliant as a what's-it-called... A house-mother, you know one of those ladies who stays in the girls dorms at university and looks after them, makes sure they're balancing themselves."

"Oh girl I wouldn't dream of doing that, if I stayed there who'd look after you?" I loved this woman. She barely knows me, yet she cares so much she won't leave me to go and do something that she does think is a fantastic idea.

"Alright Gran, but if you change your mind I'm sure we could sort something out." While we were talking she'd taken out the source of the smell (turned out to be two roast chickens) and put in the bread, while I made and ate a chicken salad sandwich and a coke.

I left Gran to the rest of her cooking and went to the library intending to go back down to Eric and explore that amazing bathroom. I encountered a slight setback. In my concern for Eric I didn't see the password to enter the room. I was stuck outside. A few choice words ran through my head and probably slipped out of my mouth, but if confronted I shall deny it. Instead I decided to go and explore the rest of the house and see exactly what was around.

The ground floor as I've said was mostly open plan, with a large kitchen to one corner separated by the breakfast bar, the library through the door on the same wall, and as I thought an office and a home cinema on the other side.

The office had a beautiful mahogany desk beside the door, with a large executive chair behind it, and a few bits of stationary, the requisite pot of pens and pencils, but to my surprise a quill and inkwell, equipment for wax seals, and in the unlocked drawers on the right, tools for calligraphy and brush work. Filing that away for later contemplation I continued to look around (read: snoop).

There was a bookcase to the left stained to match the desk, that to my guess was pine, that held various binders and file boxes marked with a myriad of characters, including runes, hieroglyphs, cuneiform, Sanskrit, western letters and far eastern characters and more I couldn't recognise. I was pretty sure I saw Tolkien's Sindarin (Elvish) and Klingon in there too. Knowing Eric, what was written on the boxes, even in dead or fictional languages, was coded and completely unfathomable unless you knew each language's dialects, how his mind worked and had a decade or two spare to try to work it out, in such time you might possibly work out one box. I pitied the person who tried.

The wall opposite the desk had a screen showing the up-to-date stock market, and several maps. The maps had been laminated and colour coded (without a key, how shocking) that I guessed showed each kingdom and the areas within them. With how quickly power could shift in the hierarchy, having a map you could change with the wipe of a finger made much more sense than drawing straight onto paper.

The wall to the left of the door was all windows, but it looked like toughened glass, and I could see rails both inside and out that housed shutters. Mentally reviewing everything else I'd seen so far, this place could be locked up like a fortress if need be. I'd ask Eric more about that later.

The home cinema was amazing. Going up to the second level, the screen was opposite the door, and the floor rose in tiers to half way up the back wall with various seating (sofas, armchairs, even beanbags!) and the projector, along with just about every film in existence so far, and in a corner the machinery needed to play it, from blu-ray to a magic lantern that I was positive was a 17th century original. Not wanting to break anything, I left, despite my curiosity as to how Eric handled the old film reels, which would be covered in silver. Guess he wore gloves.

Moving upstairs, I found bedrooms of various colour schemes, all furnished tastefully and generously sized, but not what I was quickly coming to refer to as Viking-sized, that is, twice as large as usual. What I was noticing was although everything was obviously expensive or an antique from Eric's long life, nothing was garish, over the top or there just to show off his wealth, which to me said despite his outward image, Eric was a down to earth man, who knew how hard times could be, but also knew that every moment was for living, so while saving money is always a good idea, living just to save money you can't take with you is pointless. I also think despite Pam and his Area, he was very lonely, after all being surrounded by people subservient to you, above you or just out to get you can get very tiring after a while. Admittedly right then Gran and I were what Sookie would refer to as 'kept women', I fully intended to repay Eric, and Gran already was with her mission to help the waitresses.

Walking to the end of the corridor I found what would be one of my favourite rooms.

He had a gym. Why, I don't know, but I wasn't going to question it. Half the floor was wooden and slightly sprung, like a dance studio, complete with a wall of mirrors that side, and the other was rubberised, with assorted machines, including my favourite, the rowing machine. Eager to get started, I did some stretches and warm up exercises, then rolled up the sleeves on the shirt a bit more, tied the bottom up at my stomach(it was cotton so I knew it wouldn't damage it), sat down on the seat, and realised I had no shoes on. Cue swearing. Of course I decided to hell with a little pain and got started, slowly upping the resistance.

I'd seen the sun set through the windows in front of me (much like the office they were toughened glass and had runners for shutters inside and out) and I felt the void of Eric's mind come upstairs, so I didn't falter my winding down when he spoke.

"You have no idea how sexy you look."

I hooked the handle of the machine back in place and started to unstrap my feet.

"Yeah? Tell that to my feet." I panted. My muscles were pleasantly sore, telling me I'd had a good session, my feet however were screaming. With the hard plastic of the straps and the force I used, it's a wonder I hadn't drawn blood. As I finished speaking Eric blurred over and took my foot in his blessedly cool hands. Normally I hate my feet being touched, but this felt fantastic.

"What have you done." Eric murmured as he inspected the damage. Still panting I just shrugged.

"Why didn't you wait until I got you some shoes?" He questioned with disapproval written across his face.

"I was impatient. I had time to kill, I didn't feel like reading, and it was here. A little pain in my feet wasn't going to stop me." I took my foot out of his grasp, got off the machine, sat on the floor and flopped onto my back.

"You should have waited."

"Probably," I admitted. "Would you have?" I took his silence to mean he wouldn't have. I took a deep breath and started to get up. "Alright, I'm gonna go get washed up before dinner, would it be ok if I had another shirt and pair of boxers please?" I asked. He nodded just as we heard a shriek from down stairs.


	15. Chapter 15

I DID IT! I got a new chapter AND remembered to upload on the right day!

*Ahem* And now, on with the show...

"Gran!"

"Adele!"

Eric and I were racing down the stairs as fast as we could, calling to Gran as we went. We were so shocked and worried by her scream it didn't occur to us to use our other senses to see if she was ok, we just had to get to her as soon as we could. The scene that greeted us was definitely _not_ what we expected.

Gran was getting a bath. Why would that elicit a shriek? Well, said bath was being administered by a massive wolf with her paws on Gran's shoulders. We stood there dumbfounded for a moment, before realising the weight of the wolf was dragging Gran to the ground. We stepped forwards, Eric grabbing the wolf and gently moving her to one side as I supported Gran to a chair.

_How's her heart Eric?_ I sent.

_A little rapid, but strong, no cause for alarm._

"Gran? What happened?" I asked gently.

"I was puttin' the pans in a stack to put away when I heard something behind me, next thing I know I've got arms full of wolf and I'm gettin' a wash! Gave me a fright silly thing." I loved this woman. She gets jumped by a bloody great wolf and she acts like it's one of her grandkids that made her jump messing about. Priceless.

"Sorry Gran I should've made sure she came up with me earlier, we sort of inherited her last night on the way home. She's a gift from the cosmos. No doubt she has a name but I haven't worked it out yet."

Before Eric could say anything Gran interrupted. "Right then. I need to go and buy some meat after dropping off the girls' food, what should I get her?"

"Eric how much land have you got here and is there any wildlife?"

"Acres and more than enough to support one wolf, even if she is freakishly large." She growled and snapped at him, he just laughed and rubbed her head.

Once everything was settled Eric and I went to get ready to go to the bar.

I'd forgotten Sookie was a different size to me. I managed to find a pair of jeans and a top to fit, but it wasn't pretty. She could wax lyrical about her boobs being Ds all she liked, until she had over flowing Es (that weren't even the largest I had ever been) she didn't have a clue about large breasts. The jeans were a size small and short, and the top was a hideous pale orangey-pink monstrosity (probably called 'peach') that was covered in ruffles. To add insult to injury I had to wear flip flops. I called for Eric.

"We have a slight problem." I said as he appeared at the door. He stood there for a moment and took in the state of the room (clothes _everywhere_) then the train wreck that was my outfit. He laughed. The bastard stood there and laughed until tears came from his eyes and I'm sure if he were a breather he'd be doubled over gasping. Needless to say, I threw a shoe at him. While he was standing there making up for a few centuries of being a miserable prick, laughing more every time he looked at me and my 'eat-shit-and-die' expression, I took his phone and his wallet and left him to it. I knew who would help, even if she cried laughing later.

"Pam, I need your help, NOW."

She pulled up about 15 minutes later, walked in, heard Mr. Hilarious upstairs, took one look at me and my 'save me!' look, and dragged me to her car.

"What the hell _is_ that?" She asked as she drove.

"I've no idea but it's fucking ugly and scratchy too. She probably thought it was 'cute'. First stop jeans and t-shirts, second stop boots, then you can have some real fun, while that wanker was laughing I took his wallet." And I held it up with a grin that scares small children. Pam returned the look and put her foot down a little more.

When she pulled in to Levi's, I literally kissed her. "Gorgeous woman! Ok, dark jeans, boot cut preferably but feel free to take licence after you have a few pairs, t's in grey, black and dark green, again take license after you have essentials, don't ask me what size I am I haven't a clue in American. I'm going to grab one set then change, then I'll come find you, ok?" In reply she kissed me again (taking liberties with her tongue!), gave me a fangy grin then bounced out of the car and into the store.

Once I was comfortable I went and found Pam, who was being followed by two store assistants weighed down with clothes.

"Uh Pam will all this fit in the car?" She smiled at me with a hint of mischief.

"That is why we have Bobby and a van." Of course.

When we were done and Eric's account was several grand lighter, we moved to the rest of the mall. Evidently Pam had called ahead to each store, because as we walked in no less than two assistants met us to carry everything, then package and store it all until Bobby could collect it.

Trousers (jeans, cargos, linen, smart, if it could be classed as trousers - sorry, _pants_, I had a pair), shorts, skirts (long, short, mini, pencil, a-line and several others I didn't have a clue about), shirts (casual to formal and everything in between), halter tops, tank tops, more t-shirts, lingerie, dresses (everyday, cocktail and ball gown), shoes (various heights, styles and heels), and more. The best thing, I got to judge each item, and not a ruffle, flower print or stripe in sight.

When we got in the car I thought we were done shopping, until Pam pulled up at another building.

"You're going to love this place." Pam told me. I raised an eyebrow in question but she was already getting out of the car.

When I walked in, I saw exactly what she meant.

The store was divided in two, with corsets in all styles on one side, and leather on the other. Anything that could be made of leather was displayed somewhere.

"It's owned by a husband/wife team. She designs corsets and leather items, he makes them, and they make shoes too. They're a couple of the few who knew about us before the Reveal. I met them 20 years ago as they were trying to start out, they were at the bank for a start-up loan, they got turned down, but I was curious so I followed them. Told them I'd recently come into money and was looking for an investment. They explained their dream, and I backed it. It was 6 months later they discovered my nature, I'd torn one of my pieces and brought it in for repair, they noticed there wasn't any of the usual damage from use, and asked me. Rather than remove all knowledge and lose my investment, I told them. They insisted on being glamoured to know but unable to say anything about it. We've been happy with the arrangement ever since." Pam was truly proud of this place, and from what I could see she had good reason to be. It also proved that while she may love to spend Eric's money, she did have her own, and a good business mind.

"It's fantastic Pam, I'll bet Eric's really proud."

"He doesn't know about it." She sounded conflicted about that.

"Are you sure?" Came a voice from right behind us. Pam jumped and yelped, I just spun around and hit him in the stomach, both to get revenge and stop the conversation, I had a feeling he'd secretly supported her venture, and I didn't want her to find out and be disappointed.

"That was for laughing at me you giant child!"

Pam froze, conflicted between protecting her maker, laughing at him getting his comeuppance and protecting me from the anger she was sure was just a second away. When he laughed and grabbed me to mess up my hair, she relaxed.

After buying even more stuff, sneaking into a dressing room with an outfit and covering it with a long coat and loading the car, we left for Fangtasia.


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry, sorry, almost forgot! Here's your Sunday dose of fiction, let me know how it is? I've had a couple new people add me to their alerts, I'd like to know what you think so far!

On we go!

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><p>The club was packed, but rather than the overwhelming barrage of lust-filled thoughts I was expecting, the patrons were mostly just having a good night out. Not to say sex wasn't on the brain, but it wasn't the only thing people were thinking about, certainly not the picture Sookie painted. The only explanation I had was I wasn't burdened with a Southern upbringing, and I understood people's natures better. I put that down to 1 - growing up in a city, 2 - not having telepathy from birth, I watched behaviours and actions, and 3 - I know from experience that thinking like a psychotic killer with a sex drive that fluctuates between Sahara and Arctic, doesn't mean a damned thing.<p>

We'd walked in the back, and I stopped my scan as we walked into the office. Eric went to sit behind his desk, Pam flopped on the sofa and I stood taking it all in. I was pulled from my visual exploration by Eric.

"Well?" I suppressed my smirk. I knew where this was going.

"Well what?" I asked, sounding slightly puzzled and dazed.

"Do we get to see what you've wrapped so well for us?"

I let my smirk show.

"Unfortunately Sheriff you have duties to attend to, I wouldn't want to distract you from your work, you have had so much time away on my account I couldn't possibly take another second." I started to back away to the door, which Pam was already holding open.

"Nonsense, I have seen all the pieces at Pamela's little boutique, I am sure your outfit could not distract me too much. Show me."

"If I show you, you have to get _all_ of your paperwork and other duties done, call Mr C for a meeting for me, _and_ sit out front looking suitably moody _without_ killing or maiming anyone for at least an hour before we can go home. Deal?"

He looked cocky, with his feet up on his desk, thinking it would be no problem. "Deal."

I undid the coat, turned, let it fall from my shoulders, then turned again to face him as I hung the coat up, giving him the full 360 view.

I had on knee high boots in a deep, almost black green, with a thick 4inch high heel, black leather trousers with a hip holster for my dagger and a dark green halter neck corset with black accents. I'd put the phone Pam gave me into my boot, and tucked the chopstick I had been using for my hair into the other, so it cascaded down my back to my rear.

"Enjoy your work Sheriff. Don't forget our deal." Pam snapped out of her daze and closed the door as I walked through it.

Something hit the wall and he roared.

"Come on Pam, get changed and we'll weed out the riff-raff."

Half an hour later, we'd bounced 6 underage, 8 drunks and quietly disappeared 2 drainers, and I'd personally delivered drinks to 3 cops, greeting them by rank and name, and asking after their families or a case, confusing the hell out of them, and pissing off the one who was supposed to be undercover.

"Well that was fun! Let's go do the line shall we?" Said Pam to my boobs.

"Oi Pam! Up 'ere luv!" I laughed - not a good idea, the bouncing distracted her back to my chest! "Come on let's mess with the idiots in the line." I grabbed her hand and dragged her.

As we walked out, a few morons whistled. One of them was obviously new and being escorted by some friends who'd been before, he got swift slaps from multiple directions and cursed to 'shut the fuck up 'cause that vamp runs the joint and can have us banned.' I told the speaker he could have 2 free drinks this evening for having a brain while Pam put the whammy on the whistler to buy rounds for his friends all night or leave and never come back.

The second whistler apologised right away, saying we look stunning, and told Pam he'd do anything to not get kicked out. Of course she told him she could make him do anything anyway, to which he replied that all he could do was offer and hope. She let him off with a double cover charge and I made him buy a drink for a girl who was there alone and thought he was cute.

The last whistler was when things got fun.

"Ooo-eee! Lookee you two all dresst up! Why don' you girlies cum 'ere an' let ol' Joe Bob show ya how a real man goes!"

As soon as his mouth opened everyone backed away from him. They knew he was fucked. Pam was growling with her fangs down, I just had to laugh.

"Hey! You ain' no deader!" He glared at me. I ignored him and looked at Pam, still giggling.

"Oh Pam! 'Real man'!" I laughed more, "Let's see what Eric thinks of this 'real man' shall we?" She got a nastily evil look on her face and the crowd backed up even more. The utter dickhead was still trying to proposition Pam and was glaring at me.

_Eric, minor detour in plans, come out front, got a hilarious little fuck thinks he's a 'real man'! It'd be a crime if we didn't take him down a peg or two!_

"What's this I hear about my two ladies needing a real man? Were you not both satisfied earlier?" Came Eric's voice from behind the idiot, he'd sped out the back and around the building. He walked past the scumbag, put his arms around us and gave each of us a toungy kiss.

"We were very satisfied Master," said Pam, "but this bloodbag seems to think he is better than you!" Eric's fangs shot down.

"Really." He growled. I sauntered over to the now cowering moron, and spoke low in his ear. "A real man doesn't whistle, objectify women and shout about his skills, he doesn't need to. He can make women swoon with a look, can fuck all night long, knows how to dominate a woman and make her see stars. He also knows how to give her control and make each woman he beds feel like a goddess. The best reaction you can get from a woman is a dirty look, that's why the only fuck you've had was your cousin who needed the money. And as for my not being a 'deader'" I shot pain through his nervous system and gagged him at the same time, "what makes you think vampires are the only thing out there?" I cut the pain off, grabbed his neck and threw him from the line. "Now go home to your Momma Jerry Lee Spencer and don't make me tell her what a bad boy her Jelly's been!" I shouted. He ran while everyone laughed at him.

_Probably_ a good idea to do something about him before we add another Fellowship loon to the ranks, but that was bloody funny!

"I need to wash my hands." I said looking disgustedly at them.

"Catch!" Called the bouncer and threw a bottle of antibacterial hand wash. I caught it and looked at Pam with a raised eyebrow.

"What? I'm supposed to run to a sink every time I touch a filthy bloodbag?" We laughed at her and the three of us walked in again.

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><p>Again, please review, I'm suffering a little writer's block at the mo, so a little input would be a great help!<p> 


	17. Chapter 17

I'M SORRY! I know I forgot Sunday (Again) but Easter is a really rough time for me, my Dad died when I was little, and it was a Good Friday, so lucky me, I get two especially rough days a year, as well as job interviews this weekend. All in all, _tons_ of fun.

Anyway, on with the chapter!

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><p>About a week passed pretty uneventfully, until the night of my meeting with Mr Cataliades, when I decided to deal with Longshadow.<p>

It was a Monday so the club was closed. Eric and Pam were doing paperwork, Gran and Nymeria (the wolf. Her name occurred to me one day at home, and I got a 'took you long enough, stupid' look from her when I said it) were sitting at a table sorting some merchandising bits out. Mr.C had just come in and was setting himself up at a table facing the bar when I went up and spoke to Longshadow, the chopstick from my hair in my hand while I made it look like I was rearranging it.

"You really should stop embezzling from the bar you know. Eric will find out." I said quietly, as if I didn't know Eric would hear me from across the room. Gran had been warned on the drive in, so no one screamed when he lunged over the bar to try and kill me, impaling himself nicely on my stick with a widely respected lawyer as a witness and Eric and Pam innocent.

"I do hope that wasn't premeditated." Mr C said.

"Mr Cataliades I'm shocked! I simply warned Longshadow he would be caught and he tried to kill me! He saw I had the chopstick in my hand, in fact I've been wearing it often as it's much easier than a hair band, I certainly didn't intend to stake him, I barely moved." I said with all the right tones. Mr C grinned.

"I shall contact Hot Rain and inform him of the circumstances of his child's demise immediately, shall I come back?"

"Yes please, I need help writing a document for the Queen to sign." I said with a smile. He left to make a phone call and I helped Pam hoover the last of the thieving dirtbag who'd been eyefucking me every night. When Nymeria followed us out to the bins and pissed on the ashes, it was the icing on the cake.

The document was essentially a contract identifying me as a telepath, stating that I chose when, how long and who I worked for, that she got a discounted rate (but still pretty substantial sums of money), I would attend summits and other essential events, and other terms and conditions to ensure I was in control of my life and protected while she still got the benefit of a happy telepath, leaving her better off than before in the end. The fact Mr C wrote the contract and the Ancient Pythoness would vouch for me left it pretty ironclad.

"You realise Her Majesty will want to verify this? She won't sign without knowing." The lawyer asserted.

"Yeah I know, but I'd rather get this over and done with now than wait for her to find out later and try and kidnap me. Plus if we start building a relationship now, she might trust me properly later when shit really starts to hit the fan."

Two nights later the whole entourage turned up.

"Northman! Explain this to me, NOW!" I was seriously beginning to wonder if there was a single woman other than Pam, Adele and Claudine that _wasn't_ batshit crazy with a death wish. As soon as the vampire DJ saw the Queen the music stopped as he and every other vamp hit the floor. Eric stood.

"Everyone please leave," he boomed "Fangtasia is closing early this evening, my apologies for the short notice." There were a few muffled moans and groans as expected, but no one protested thankfully, although more than a few people took their glasses with them.

As Eric had been in the midst of enthralling for the evening and Sophie had gone straight to him, the utter imbecile hadn't noticed me sitting in his booth with Pam playing Blackjack (we'd dragged the latest undercover cop over to show him we weren't actually gambling, just playing a friendly game to pass the time, he of course left pissed. It was becoming a game with the Chief, he would disguise them more and more, and we'd time how fast I could pick them out and send them their favourite drink.) You would think having the only pulse in a room full of on edge bloodthirsty killers would be a dead giveaway, excuse the pun. Pam hissed as I beat her again.

"Bitch! You're cheating, I know you're cheating! You're counting cards aren't you!"

"Pam suck it up, I have good memory and you have the Vault, we're square." I turned to the Bitch-Queen of Louisiana and said "I do believe the person you're looking for is me, there was no need to storm in and close down the club, a simple phone call would suffice." The area vamps kept their faces to the floor, hiding their smirks, Rasul was standing behind the group and so didn't need to bother, the Berts were stoic as ever and the Brat Twins looked outraged. I wondered where Hadley was.

"You dare address a Queen in such a manner! You filthy bloodbag you have no reason to be here you should have left! I will kill you for your insolence!" I stood up, and so did everyone else, not that the spoilt, self important twat noticed. How the fuck did she survive this long as Queen being this fucking unobservant? I was given an answer when the Berts tensed and rested their hands on their weapons.

"You came here to test me out, see why you should sign a contract with me, so come on, give it your best shot." I held my arms out and twitched my fingers in the universal 'bring it on, bitch' gesture.

Andre screamed like a girl and launched himself at me. I dodged and laughed as I span and used his own momentum to propel him into the bar. Chow picked him up, set him on his feet and brushed him off. Andre looked murderous. Problem was, centuries old vampire or not I just can't take someone who looks like a 14 year old seriously. I watched with a grin as he stalked back to his place by the Queen.

"Trying to kill me won't do you any favours Soph, and if you piss me off you lose a valuable asset, if I do say so myself."

"I have no need of you, you stupid little bitch!" She hissed.

"Oh that's right, you think you already have a telepath, Billy-boy should be sending her along any day now, Hadley's little cousin right? Well the problem with that is, that little bit of Fae Andre tasted, that's from their grandfather, who happens to be quite important, do you know who he is?" I could tell from her face she was both confused and pissed I knew any of this. "No? I guess I'll just have to tell you then. Their grandfather is Fintan Brigant, son of Niall, Crown Prince of the Sky Fae and all around _not_ someone you want to fuck about with." Pure fear radiated from her. Evidently the vapid cow _did_ have a few brain cells and knew how fucked she was. "Fortunately for you he decided to let you keep Hadley, as she cut herself out of the family, however, if you so much as look at any other family member wrong, including Hadley's son, who will be coming here by the way, you shall die an extremely slow painful death, after each of your children suffer and die first." The end of the sentence was punctuated by a timely and extremely loud roll of thunder and flickering of the lights, thank you magic. As the thunder was rolling Nymeria walked in from the office, teeth bared growling. The four vampires went from scared to looking like they would defy all logic and actually piss themselves.

"You still exist because I don't want to mess about installing a new monarch, though I won't hesitate if the need arises. Now, are you going to sign that contract or not?"

Forget what I said earlier about her having brain cells. She blew any thought of that out the window with her next action. She decided rather than be scared she would turn it into anger, disbelief and indignation.

"How dare you speak to me like that! That is treason! If you are not human then I am your Queen and you will bow and respect me as such!" Even the Berts looked at her like she was mental. I'd had enough. Downplay obviously _wasn't_ working. I let rip. I levitated everything that wasn't bolted down and the teenage jokes, I lit on fire, let my eyes glow vibrant green and had electricity sparking around me.

"I dare speak to you that way because it is my right you insignificant little speck!" I spoke with a thousand voices. "You may think yourself all important Marie Durand but I know the truth of you and all I see is nothing. You were a vain, vapid pathetic excuse for a human and your turning did not improve you. I tried to leave you some semblance of control and offer you a way to work together to appease appearances. You fucked with forces beyond your knowing and now you pay the consequences. I strip you of your title, your strength, your speed, your children and your fangs. I banish you to live out your days such as they may be on the moon, you had best hope the distance will protect you." It wouldn't, but she had a whole month to find out, as the sun wouldn't touch where I sent her until then. With a scream, she was gone. I slowly powered down, holding a crazed Andre all the while. "Eric, do you remember telling me I could have a darkroom if I was careful?"

"Yes bråkmakare?" He said a little puzzled.

"Ask Bobby for 10 gallons each of Stop and Fix chemicals, 3 gallons of Kodak HC110 developer, an empty hot tub to fit four, three empty barrels, a thousand rolls of black and white film at mixed ISO's from various brands, a titanium rod of three feet wide with hoops for suspension, a 100 gallon fuel truck full of water, two Hazmat suits, to fit you and Pam, silver chains in various weights and sizes, a small generator and some jump cables." I thought for a second. "Yeah I think that's it, and have it all delivered to your warehouse on the outskirts? I'd like to have some fun with our dear friend Andre." Eric was typing furiously on his phone, Pam - ever the one to anticipate - was binding Andre in silver and duct tape and everyone else looked downright confused. Clearly with all the hiding they did pre-Reveal none of them had a photographer.

Once Andre was properly immobilised I let the last of the power go and collapsed, fortunately into Viking arms and not the floor. Felicia had slipped out during the commotion as soon as she saw me 'power up' to go get me food, which she brought over to the table Eric sat us down at. I knew it had been a good idea to tell the Area vampires what I could do if not what I was (jury was still out on that) though Eric saw it as a major security risk. At that moment I was scoring it a giant 1-0 to me thanks to the gorgeous looking grilled chicken breast with bacon, cheese sauce and buttery jacket potato steaming away in front of me.

"You _star_." I said, pulling her to me and placing a solid kiss on her forehead. I didn't even care she was a spy for Victor, she brought me food and I was STARVING.


	18. Chapter 18

"So, Rasul, how would you like to be king?" Good thing vampires only breathe when they want to smell or speak, or there'd be quite a few choking blood through their noses. I'd finished eating, the bar had been cleaned as much as possible and we were all sitting having a drink.

"Excuse me Mistress?" I recoiled.

"Oi! None a that shit you! I'm not yer Mistress or yer Queen and the Pythoness is the only one called 'Your Grace' so call me Maya or find something else." I growled. (My accent becomes strange and a little hard to understand when I'm feeling high emotion.) _Bloody_ vampires and their bloody propriety.

"Again, how would you like to be King? You've basically been running the state anyway since she was off her bloody rocker pissing money up the wall left and right," He looked utterly baffled bless him, I wasn't sure if it was my question, the whole situation or just _me_ that had him confused, but his computer was most definitely saying 'No'. "Look, you know the state, you know the finances, you know the Sheriffs, you've kept the state from multiple takeovers on every level, you've basically been King without the benefits, so why not step up? Everyone knows the work you've been doing and no one will accuse you of killing the Idiot because there's a dozen witnesses that saw me do it, not to mention security footage, that we'll be sending to the Pythoness tonight to let her know of the change in management."

When a full two minutes had gone by and Rasul still hadn't answered, Eric huffed, pulled out his phone and dialled the other Sheriffs.

"Sheriffs, the Queen was ended tonight in my club, I nominate Rasul for King, those against," silence "those for," a chorus of 'ayes' "thank you. More information will be provided in due time." And he hung up. "Rasul, it is done, you are now King of Louisiana, long may you reign, because like fuck do I want to deal with anyone else." Dazed, Rasul just nodded, while Andre issued muffled protest from his position bound and gagged on the floor, that is until he received kicks from multiple directions to a bored chorus of "Shut up Andre."

The next few months were spent weeding out traitors, securing Rasul as King, enthralling the 'bangers and training. Pam was predictably upset there wasn't enough shopping, but there just wasn't the time. There was barely enough time to educate Pam and Eric on the joys of old fashioned photography, particularly on the abstract uses of all the silver content on certain pain in the arse spoilt brat vampires with assistance from a nice electromagnet. I think the new ways to play appeased the Shopping Goddess.

Training consisted of lessons in everything, and I do mean everything, traditional weapons both old - swords, daggers, throwing knives, archery, spears, axes, hammers and more - and new - hand guns, shotguns, rifles, sniper rifles, grenades (I had no idea so much training went in to pulling a pin and throwing!) mines, RPGs, tanks and helicopters (?! Apparently "I was told to teach you everything, so you will learn everything, whether or not you think it relevant." Well alright then.) and more - to the downright strange - case in point, a paper clip. Basically, if someone somewhere used it to kill someone or something, I learnt to use it. I thanked every deity and higher power I could think of for Fintan giving me photographic memory. If he hadn't, no way would I have learnt everything and eaten and slept. I also thought of more ways to use my powers, though it was harder to conjure than in the Inbetween Forest (I had to call it something!). We discovered the powers were like muscles, the more I used it the easier it was and also the stronger and longer lasting. The power was tied to my emotions, which made me the happy winner of two bets, Eric and Pam didn't think I had any emotional control what so ever. Ha! My gorgeous new car and motorbike said differently (I was confident, so I bet big, so what?).

We had a funeral for Sookie to stop any enquiries about her, we said she died in an accident saving a child. To Sam, we said she had been claimed by her Fae kin and was living in Faery, where she could easier control her telepathy. Adele assured him that it wasn't a selfish decision, that she had practically pushed Sookie through, knowing a life in Fae was infinitely better for her. It took a few hours and several attempts at a raging argument (quickly shut down by Gran) but he eventually agreed.

Eric, Remy and Gran discussed and agreed, Remy would be paid as caretaker to update and otherwise refurbish the farmhouse, while living there with Hunter. Remy was happy to have a steady job that kept him with his son, a great house to live in and people to support him as Hunter got older, Gran was happy the farmhouse wasn't empty, I was happy Hunter was close by for me to train, without taking him from his father, and amazingly Eric and Jason were both ecstatic that they had a little boy to dote on, though of course Eric bared his fangs and started fighting with me when I called him Uncle Teddy Bear.

Pam was getting miserable and restless feeling left out, so she and I were going to take a weekend to London (under the radar of course) for a little well earned R&R when Godric decided it was time for him to fuck it all up and mess with the bloody Fellowship.


	19. Apologies

I am so sorry! I'm a bad, mean person and I'm terrible at keeping stories going, but my brain is firmly stuck in _**input mode**_at the moment, and my muses have buggered off (probably to somewhere sunny too, bitches) and I don't know when they're going to come back and flip the switch to **_output mode_**, so for now, I'm placing all my stories on hiatus.

Sorry again,

Maya

While you're waiting for me, definitely go check out these brilliant authors and stories!

POTTER:

Rorschach's Blot

Nonjon

Landstradd

"Blended Blood" Potter/Avengers crossover, Harry is Lokison not Potter

"Brilliant Blood" Another Potter/Avengers cross, but this time it's Harry Stark

"Can't Have It Both Ways" Fourth year AU, Harry gets some advice

SVM/TRUE BLOOD:

Hippychik

MissyDee

Chicpea

"A Smarter Sookie" Self explanatory really, girl gets a brain!

"Winds of Change" Gran has an idea...

"So Much More Than A Dream" Godric comes to visit...


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